Mister profile picture

Mister

I am here for Friends

About Me

If you ever wanted to meet somebody who learned everything he knows from the internet, then you should probably meet Sal Alamillo. At 11 years old, Sal's dad set up an AOL account for him and showed him how to surf the web, not realizing that he had just helped Sal determine the next decade of his life. Spending most of his teen years playing computer games, watching youtube videos, and obliviously evading sexual predators.

My Interests

DotA
=ElSal18

Books:

I can't read.

My Blog

If I ever started my own country, the first rule would be, "no holocausts."

Sometimes I wish George W. Bush would stick his dick in a baby's mouth just to see how Fox News would spin it.
Posted by Mister on Wed, 10 May 2006 09:24:00 PST

Hi, My Name's Sal, Remember Me?

Mister of the Argot I have my own language, if not reality, and I've tried to compile a dictionary to reflect that fact. You may notice that these slang words offer an incredibly rich vocabulary ...
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

There's nothing cute about a gang fight. Unless it's between two gangs of puppies.

You know, I've always accused girls of being shallow individuals who put up a front that they want a nice, funny guy. But really want a good looking guy who has money and plays music, and while in pur...
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

He's Baaaaack.

THE WAIT IS OVER. SHAQ FACTS: VOLUME 2. SHAQ'S SPERM ARE THE SIZE OF CATFISH AND HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO EAT MICE. SHAQ IS HALF HUMAN, HALF HEPATITUS B SHAQ OWNS 700 ACRES OF THE MOON. HE BOUGHT...
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I've got an idea for a movie and it goes like THIS.

I have an awesome idea for a movie. (Then again, I have about a BILLION ideas for a movie. The only reason I'm telling you guys this is because I love reactions I'm getting for this, people just l...
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Dude, you guys. Be nice to Kristan. His parents were eaten by a BEAR this weekend.

Today, Harris and I discussed going to an LA LAKERS game together and then we tried to decide on what we'd put on our sign. Here were some of the suggestions: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO SHAQ SHAQ'...
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Yeeh.

One time I was talking with this kid and he made a joke, and then we both shared a laugh, and then to save us from the uncomfortable silence that commonly occurs after the laughter has siezed, I said ...
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I get in fights with children.

Next time I make out with a girl (never), I'm going to turn her head to the side and whisper in her ear: "I have a race-car bed."
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Wendy Serrato and middle school antics.

When I was in the 6th grade, I had a crush on Wendy Serrato. And one time at P.E, I kicked a basketball and it hit her in the stomach and she fell to the ground. So I ran away.
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I get severely depressed when I realize that I'll never be cool enough to party with Shaq.

I just wanted to let you all know that My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge makes Green Day's American Idiot look like an abortion. GO BUY IT NOW.
Posted by Mister on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST