Inky's Blog
First of all, I would like to give you a brief backgound. I am a 27 year old struggling actor with a degree in Miller Lite and a face for television. My father worked as a chicken farmer's boot lace his whole life just to make sure that I would have it better than he did. Before that he worked as a finger reminder but the work was only short term and he kept getting moved from finger to finger without compensation. As soon as someone remembered why they put the piece of string on their finger, they would just toss my father aside as if he were nothing more than a piece of used dental floss.
For the past 3 years, I have looked for work as a rope, cable, wire, twine, twist-tie (don't get me started on the twist-tie job), and various other mildly challenging fields. I was given a different excuse on each occasion when I didn't get the job. Imagine sitting through a grueling 3 hour interview and then being told that you didn't carry a good enough current to be considered for the wire job and that you weren't strong enough for the cable position.
I think I hit rock bottom when I was told that since I wasn't hollow on the inside that I would never get work as a tube, pipe, or hose. If you ask me, I think the "knots" are taking all the jobs in this country and leaving us poor strings running around taking the leftovers but that's another conversation completely. I've got LOTS to say on that subject. Anyway, one day I had some time to surf the internet and clear my head and that's when it happened. I hadn't check my email all day so I decided it was time to take a gander.
I received an email from an old high school buddy he told me of a flyer he had seen out the night before. The flyer read in big, bold letters "Emoticon Tryouts". After reading on, I found that that some big production company was going to be holding these "Emoticon Tryouts" right here in Alabama. I could hardly breathe. I thought "This is my big break if I don't screw it up." I can't believe it. I could be an emoticon. The job was perfect for me. The day of the tryouts, I was a nervous wreck. I was tying myself in knots all day.
When I arrived at the tryouts, there was no line. I thought "Awesome!" this is going to be a breeze. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was the only one there. Well needless to say I had forgotten to set my clock the previous Saturday night and I had arrived one hour early. As much as it was a let down that I was not the only one at the tryouts, I wanted to take full advantage of that extra hour to prepare. I found a mirror and started running through my gamut of emotions.
Below are my headshot photos that I had made showing my wealth of expression:
It cost me $75 to have them taken by a professional photographer but it was worth it being that I was mailing these out to every major casting director in the country. I haven't gotten many calls yet but I am expecting big things. If anyone out there knows of a good agent, let me know.
Week ending May 14, 2006
I'm on vacation this week but I have uploaded some photos for my blog.
1. My first time surfing. Look at me go. My surfing instructor told me I was a natural.
2. There is nothing to get into after midnight in LA except trouble. After the Lakers lost to San Antonio, there was a massive street brawl outside the Staples Center. Under no circumstances should you tell Kobe jokes after the Lakers lose a game. Way bad idea. The crowd got a few sucker punches in but I feel I won the fight.
3. Courtroom drawings made during my trial. I wouldn't have shown this picture but it is a really good pic of me. I was told not to return to LA.
4. Not so secret night out with Paris. Damn paparazzi was following us the whole time.
5. Ok I admit I doctored the above picture using Photoshop but this really is me on the Price is Right. I actually made it on stage and had a chance to win a plasma screen but those damn plinko chips had their own agenda. I was disqualified from playing in the Showcase Showdown because I couldn't spin the wheel hard enough to make it go around one full revolution. What a STUPID rule!!!
more to come...
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