jimskio - ProfilesArchive

About Me

it's normally best not to ask stuff like that but since whoever made this website was stupid enough to, I will answer. I am often seen in the form of a large fluffy ironing board with a funny shaped leg but I occasionally venture into the guise of a doughnut with a nose. This helps me in my natural habitat of doughnut with nose world but more often than not, ends up with me getting either eaten or picked.
I work as a toilet brush and on my holidays i venture to the outer limits of Kenya hunting giraffe and ride-on lawnmowers. (I have a large collection of trophies from these elusive creatures).
My job is a high powered one, and I spend alot of time sitting next to some incredibly important people. For instance, I once had a good long chat with Mother Teresa about AIDS and GAYs whilst she was doing a poo. It was an interesting conversation as she was straining at the time.
I think she had piles.
If you want to add me on here, I will be happy to accept, as long as you are not one of the following:

A bandAn advertismentSomeone I quite obviously hate (yes Micheal Jackson, I am looking at you)Really really sexy (unless you are a fag, and single... then by all means, add away)Somebody with a good sense of humourSomeone who people actually like
As you can tell from looking at the rest of my friends, all of them meet these criteria, as not one of them is attractive.
Allow me to force my strange taste in music onto you:

Also, a funky little music player thing... and I am nice and set it so it didn't autostart.

My Interests

I am fond of Buffalo hunting, Dodo hunting, Albatross hunting, Quagga hunting, Tasmanian wolf hunting, and pornography hunting.
I also have a keen interest in coffee mug stains, and have a large archive full of samples and photographs. You should come round and look at it some time, many people have died in there.

I'd like to meet:

Somebody. I am fed up of walking down the street, getting close to someone, then seeing them get run over by a car or sucked into a hyper-space vortex. I really would just like to meet someone. It would be nice.
it appears i now have a kazoo, I would now like a mercedes

Music:

oh god... here goes my "extensive list". Cradle of Filth, Nightwish, Within Temptation, Dimmu Borgir, Apocalyptica, Marilyn Manson, Weird al yankovic, Dr Demento, Nephwrack, Illuminatus, Lordi, Rammstein, Deathstars , Dope, some weird gimp band (called Turmion Katilot) , Blink 182, OOMPH!, System of a down, Dragon Force, Freedom call, Rhapsody, Samael, Leaves Eyes, Deathstars, Gothminister, Lazy Town, Turisas, Rob Zombie, Ruoska, Moonspell, Soilwork, Soil, NIN, Emigrate, Pendulum, Prodigy
more to come when i invent them

Movies:

The Descent, Predator II, Saw and Saw II, Cube, The Grudge, The Naked Gun, Cypher, All the moose movies, Thir13en ghosts, Event Horizon, Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, Se7en, 28 days (and weeks) later, Brotherhood of the Wolf, V for Vendetta, Madagascar, Wolf Creek, Hellraiser (mainly 3, 4, 7 and 8), Pans labyrinth, The crow, Pulse, Wishmaster 1, Dog Soldiers, Jack Frost, Baseketball, Deathwatch, Equilibrium, Batman Begins, The Devils Backbone, Black Sheep

Television:

Prison break, House, The Simpsons, South Park, Futurama, Family Guy (and funny episodes of American Dad), Vicar of Dibley, Pocoyo, Green Wing, Anything by Derren Brown (except russian roulette), Blackadder, Thin Blue Line

Books:

The Bible, Oxford English Dictionary, The Lord of the Rings, basically anything that will produce alot of heat when burnt. I really ought to get a more economical fuel source.
Also, JAMES BLONDE obviously

Heroes:

Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Barbie, Kerry

My Blog

How to write a bulletin

1. FREQUENCY - Plan out what you are intending to write over the next 24 hours and segment a bulletin entry into each different item. This cuts out the need for more than one bulletin over a 24 hour p...
Posted by jimskio on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 04:07:00 PST

In the Interests of Science

Ok, starting from now, I am going to read every single bulletin that people post. I know, some people can't seem to stop posting pointless ones, but I will read them all. I am going to read them but n...
Posted by jimskio on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 03:35:00 PST

floop de doop

Ok, so another update for you lovely people who can't read. I have had enough adventures with my slippers, so i will try and keep them out of this blog. This will be hard of course as they are always ...
Posted by jimskio on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 05:22:00 PST

XXX

Ok, due to family pressures, I decided to update my blog. I am sure many of you hundreds and hundreds of atoms making up my single reader are dying to know of my recent explorations, exploitations an...
Posted by jimskio on Sat, 07 Oct 2006 01:45:00 PST

Adenture of my life

This blog entry, dear children, is to inform you of the adventure of my life! undertaken by my slippers. Yesterday I was sitting there in my super deluxe comfy socks (the ones with a fridge and a j...
Posted by jimskio on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 12:55:00 PST

BRUM BRUM BRUM!!!

i gots me a car! damn right i have! and if any of you want me to come visit you... tough because it's a damn cool car and i am not going to waste it on the likes of you, you filthy, filthy prostitutes...
Posted by jimskio on Sat, 15 Jul 2006 08:44:00 PST

BRUM!!! BRRRRRUM!!!

I just passed my driving test *dances* tadaaaa! one minor fault, i am so damn sexy!...
Posted by jimskio on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 04:51:00 PST

James Blonde, the strongest soaker upper

James Blonde is the latest blockbuster hit book to hit the virtual shelves! outselling books such as the da vinci code and the bible, this book contains action, romance and alot of swearing! "An acti...
Posted by jimskio on Wed, 24 May 2006 01:53:00 PST

The hilariouis exploits of mister invincible!

As all of you gripped readers are aware, I have recently found out that I am invincible. It turns out this is not so. It turns out, that I am infact... mortal (with the exception of faster than light ...
Posted by jimskio on Sun, 07 May 2006 01:13:00 PST

Why I'm invincible

Ok, so here I am, sitting at the computer eating some stale old imitation fruit pastels trying to overcome boredom, when i suddenly realise i'm invincible! I wont bore you with details of the day (suc...
Posted by jimskio on Thu, 04 May 2006 12:08:00 PST