Esquire-Nizzle (MissCo. Mafia) OB/GYN

Where do I start? I am married to the coolest chick known to man. If you didn't know it already......Mary is the shit! We have two wonderful children. Gracie is 7 years old and Max is 3. Yes, they think they run things and usually.......they do. I manage the local hard rock band SufferKate. I have a sense of humor like no other. I enjoy good times with my family as well as my friends. I'm a MySpace junkie. I love Little Debbie snack cakes. I have over 25 tattoos. "Esquire" is my maiden name. I think "Pootie Tang" should have been nominated for an Oscar. I think Brian Halley freakin' ROX! I'm 100% down with the C-Jizzle! I work too much. I am soon to be un-employed. I go to SEARK college, pursuing a degree in Nursing (Man-Nursing to be exact). The Chicago Cubs are the best team in baseball. I enjoy spending time in the local music venues promoting local bands. I write children's books in my spare time (but you wouldn't want your kids to read them). I pick on people too much. No, not really. I think Italians are cool. I try to put -izzle on the end of every word I say. I am an honorary family member in the MISSCO MAFIA. I'm a part-time gynocologist-izzle. I've rescued old ladies out of burning houses and I helped deliver a litter of river otters. I was born with a 9 inch long tail. I've made love to a bronze rabbit (there is a pic. on the left, just scroll down). I know their "coarse", but I love hearing racial slurs, not saying them. Except "WOP". But remember....."I think Italians are cool". I like to feel un-comfortable. I think I might be related to Patrick because I had an Uncle named "Lettuce". I can SUPER POKE you without the use of a computer. I ate a grasshopper for a Dr. Pepper.......yesterday. Hicklife from Eve's Descent is one funny MoFo! I still think Vanilla Ice is cool. I had a sexual experience with the oldest chick in the group Hanson. I eat Cap'n Crunch w/ Crunchberries face-first. I put the in lazy. Before Mary, the only long-term relationship I had was with Pamela HANDerson. I think we all should support our troops, except Ron. That dude's a prick. It has been 3,687 days since the last time I gave a shit. I am, what Willis was talking about. I am not an acurate representation of White People. I am rated "E" for everyone. I know violence isn't the answer. I get it wrong on purpose. I support gay marriage so long as both chicks are hot. I will be running for office in 2012. Can I count on your vote? Have you ever seen Pootie Tang? You will now........Any questions?

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