Lukassâ„¢

Well Well Well, If you have stumbled drunkenly onto my 'Myspace' you now must enjoy and worship my 'About Me' of PERFECTION! I am a 18 year old graduee with a zest for life and a body for lovin who loves laughing and making cruel, inappropriate and sometimes morally repugnant jokes. Apart from sitting home alone in the dark watching recorded episodes of 'Dr. Phil' and 'Mass For You At Home', I love going to parties (Whoa Cliche answer), Sometimes hitting the d-floor, b-floor (bathroom floor) and yes even the C-floor (cab floor), talking loudly to friends and making an embarrassment of myself and those around me. When I find spare time from helping my borderline alcoholic, gambling addicted parents I enjoy a bit of 'ME' time watching E! THS, Girls of the playboy mansion and a bit of the old family guy with some sensaul vanilla candles.I love my BlackBerry as I can Text'N'Meet live singles in my area whenever I want YEEEAAAHHH! But I love the way Hutcho, Courtney, Antone and My Mum call it a BlueBerry! Then I love calling them colourblind little spam-purses and spitting in disgust! I like to write foolish, non-sensical and often filthy, slutty things on Sarah's myspace, it gives me a tingle where there was no tingle before FILTHY NO NAUGHTY! I one day hope to have 3 children and name them after Melbourne railway stations eg: Glen Waverly, Lily Dale and Cam Berwell! When I'm a big boy I want to live in Kew or North Balwyn and throw my kids out of my Range Rover at a private school! If I ever go to prison I want it to be for something truly classy like insider trading or embezzlement! If I ever get hit by a car I want it to be a BMW Or Mercedes, I would be embarrassed if I was run over by a Ford Festiva! I have the mouth of a tourrettes sufferer and often end my sentences with the word 'Slut': to family members, friends, associates, customers at work, the elderly, the sick and the lame. I am a dedicated shopper and am willing to attack anyone in Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klien or David Jones for a bargain, beleive me I have, often ending in a number of court settlements! Also I once watched 'Friends' and giggled..How in God's name did that happen, it took til the last episode for me to realise it was a comedy! Speaking of Friends, My wife Antonella is a pretty little bird and by walking past an instant spray tan! Thank You for your time and have a wonderful day...By wonderful day I mean try not to be run down by a 4WD or be tracked down by a Melbourne underworld family. Make it happen...and BREAK!

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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Luke or You there behind the bushes with the camera!
Birthday: 22/10/88
Birthplace: Geelong- You laugh I break Hands!
Current Location: Underground shelter eating my mums delicious preserves!
Eye Color: A culmination of green and lumionous poo brown
Hair Color: Blonde with re-growth brown!
Height: 196 CM- Yeah lanky kid wishes he was joking!
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Irish and British with a bit of Ethopian, Latvian and Niguraguan
The Shoes You Wore Today: Thongs
Your Weakness: Spending Money/ Punching People in the back of the head
Your Fears: Running out of money/ People tracking me down after I punched them in the back of the head
Your Perfect Pizza: Meat Lovers or BBQ Chicken depending if I am not a vegan that week or eating at all
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get a semi-o.k enter score so my parents will give be back my turtle unharmed!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: G2G, There's a more attractive person than you talking to me!
Thoughts First Waking Up: Who are you and why are you breathing heavily watching me sleep?
Your Best Physical Feature: my box! inbox, outbox, it's all relative!
Your Bedtime: Whenever my mum gets home from the pub and I roll her on her stomach so she doesn't choke
Your Most Missed Memory: my parents before they discovered alcohol
Pepsi or Coke: that's easy- dr. pepper
MacDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or Group Dates: dates?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Oh a hard one, they both sound eaqually vomit enducing
Chocolate or Vanilla: Bitch!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: yes
Do you Swear: only if im in a tourrettes mood you dirty whore!
Do you Sing: Only if it is screamo, so therepuetic and sultry!
Do you Shower Daily: Yes- for a total of 8.3 seconds, My family are avid water savers..Our Water, our future slut!
Have you Been in Love: Yes until the restraining order ruined all that!
Do you want to go to College: Hell yes I do, I want to study balinese dance and witchcraft and sorcery!
Do you want to get Married: Only to someone loaded so I can begin a slow process of scaring them to death!
Do you belive in yourself: Yes..except for the fact I am such a failure and no one could ever love me
Do you get Motion Sickness: Every time I move, or see something moving, or think of movement BLEUGH! Oh God...it's everywhere!
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes...if horrific facial scarring and 2 teeth gets you hot!
Are you a Health Freak: Yes I am, sometimes I go week to week without eating just to be healthy!
Do you get along with your Parents: I try to but they're usually at their 'nightjobs' at the casino
Do you like Thunderstorms: I would rather not comment on that issue! I ask that you respect my privacy during such a time!
Do you play an Instrument: Is playing with the body of a piano playing or is it just sexually perverse?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No, I find I enjoy cocaine more just by smelling it!
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No I called 4 ladies in a Queensland apartment at 2:30 a.m but they are just friends
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No, I find a slow process of pringle gorging is better for eating your feelings!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No, seaweede is better left eaten at the beach, straight from the ocean!
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes, in an empty theatre! God I am so lonely
In the past month have you been Dumped: No, I dumped someone, I did her mum and messaged her about it! Best break-up ever!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Everything I do is skinny..I don't believe in the constraints of clothes! I go skinny walking, skinny shopping, skinny talking!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I stole a student number and did a really bad exam, good luck getting into medicine Huthcho!
Ever been Drunk: Yes
Ever been called a Tease: Yes, when I wore a mu-mu and showed my ankles in Colac!
Ever been Beaten up: No, I'm too tall and know too many lawyers!
Ever Shoplifted: I tried to steal Target but it's just too big to put in a Londsdale bag
How do you want to Die: Publically, Plane crash, hit by a politicians BMW! As long as it's in the paper
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Footballer..Yeh I'm laughing too or a t.v journalist
What country would you most like to Visit: United States or Poland...oh no..I mean Thailand
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Brown or Blonde
Short or Long Hair: Straight, frizzy hair upsets me
Height: 12 foot- YEAH THATS A HUGE BITCH! BOEHEMETH! BIG RHONDA!
Weight: Emaciated A.LA. Nicole rithcie or More to love a.l.a- Kirstie alley YEYAAAH!
Best Clothing Style: Wealthy people's clothes- Ralph Lauren, Tommy H, Tsubi, Sass and Bide, Louis Vuitton etc.
Number of Drugs I have taken: zilch
Number of CDs I own: over 30
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: 1- I got the same one as the prison break guy
Number of things in my Past I Regret: that movie that I did on spring break..I was young, I needed the money!
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