SÃ¥ncho

I'd like to meet:

Music:

mostly metal, but I'll listen to anything.

The metal subgenre explanations:

HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
Examples: Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Deep Purple.

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
Examples: Helloween, Blind Guardian and Sonata Arctica.

THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
Examples: Slayer, Metallica and Anthrax.

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.
Examples: Skyclad, Finntroll and Korpiklaani.

VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
Examples: Bathory, Amon Amarth and Enslaved.

DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
Examples: In Flames, Entombed and Angel Corpse.

BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
Examples: Ragnarok, Burzum and Mayhem.

GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
Examples: Cannibal Corpse, Exhumed and Disgorge.

GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...
Examples: Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Cock and Ball Torture and Leng Tch'e.

DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
Examples: Candlemass, Saint Vitus and Cathedral.

GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.
Examples: Trail of Tears, Lacuna Coil and Sirenia.

PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.
Examples: Tool, Mastodon and Between the Buried and Me.

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
Examples: Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein and Ministry.

SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
Examples: Hermética, Venom and Cacophony.

CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank' the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."
Examples: Stryper, Saviour Machine and Whitecross.

GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
Examples: Mötley Crüe, W.A.S.P. and Def Leppard.

BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
Examples: Mezzerschmitt, Mortiis and Waylander.

NÜ METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
Examples: 40 Below Summer, Deftones and Flaw.

EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, he gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.
Examples: Saves the Day, Taking Back Sunday and The Movielife.

I feel the same way about country as I do about herpes.

Movies:

I'm pretty sure I like every movie in some way. Even if the story sucks there has to be one thing that makes it worth watching - a shot, a line, a character. Every movie has a redeeming factor in my worthless opinion.

I'll make a short list (you can click 'em to get a picture): the Alien Series , Clerks , Dune , Young Guns , Cronos , Goin' South , Conan the Barbarian , Imprint , the Prestige , Surviving the Game , CKY , Alpha Dog , Super Troopers , Alien vs Predator , the Sandlot , Pi , Van Wilder , the Hot Shots movies , Cigarette Burns , My Neighbor Totoro , Reservoir Dogs , Frogs , Young Frankenstein , Animatrix , the Latin Kings of Comedy , the Predator series , Sick Girl , And Staring Pancho Villa as Himself , the Saw movies , the Underworld movies , Dazed and Confused , Jenifer , Stealing Harvard , Wayne's World , the Friday series , Sin City , SLC Punk , Now Eat , the Good the Bad and the Ugly , Hostel , Smokin' Aces , the Mad Max movies , the Net , Deadman , the Fair-Haired Child , the Transformers animated movie , Wizards , the Sunchaser , Chopper , LORD OF THE G-STRINGS (funniest movie ever), Deer Woman , Taxi Driver , American History X , the Blade movies , An Evening with Kevin Smith , Puddle Cruiser , Brick , Snatch , Reign of Fire , Bringing out the Dead , Silent Hill , Club Dread , Queen of the Damned , the Brothers Grimm , the Cat in the Hat , Spun , Borat , Blazin' Saddles , Garden State , Where the Buffalo Roam , Casino , Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back , the Protector , Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas , the Departed , Requeim for a Dream , Dracula Dead and Loving It , Robin Hood Men in Tights , the Last Temptation of Christ , Wishmaster , Apocalypto , Brazil ... I don't want to type anymore.

Television:

I like all types of cartoons and the shows Heroes, Lost, House and Degrassi.

Books:

Every body is a book of blood - wherever we're opened, we're red.

Heroes:

he·ro

a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.

So, my hero? Mi padre.