Lorena Torres profile picture

Lorena Torres

I was killing before killing was cool

About Me

.......... ....Hi my name is Lorena Torres. Im a stand up comedian here on myspace. what do you do?

My Interests

anything in the night sky. camping. I could live my entire life camping. as long as I had an air mattress. I really dont watch comedy. I dont know a lot of comedians. Im interested in finding a cure for my shit attacks and finding some that can assist me in pulling my mothers head out of her ass. Play Sonic The Hedge Hog Now!
Game provided by: Myspace Games

I'd like to meet:

You. Maybe.
i
Lorena Torres Rocks!

Music:

the beatles, coheed and cambria, alkaline trio, Micheal jackson, blood sweat and tears, my chemical romance, rise against, rascal flatts, george strait, brooks and dunn, tim mcgraw, taking back sunday, eminem, kanye west, johnny cash, AFI, blink 182, remember them? the cure, cream, death cab for cutie, cypress hill, damian marley, deftones, the doors, dramarama, elvis, dr dre, the who, fall out boy- yeah what about it, foo fighters, garbage, no doubt, the killers, justin timberlake, linkin park, matisyahu, metallica modest mouse, oasis, ozzy osbourne, the rolling stones, smashing pumpkins, sublime, three dog night, weezer, jimi Hendrix, snoop d-o double g Help!

Movies:

NAME A MOVIE!
Chances are, I haven't seen it. I don't watch movies unless I know its going to be really funny. I cant waste my time on feeling bad for someone I dont know, thats made up on top of that. My time is already spent surrounded by poor SOBs. I dont need to spend a Friday night on it. the last movie I saw was space jam. my father took me surprisingly. I say that because the man never really took me anywhere. he blamed it on me saying I was unruly and made it difficult for him to sustain a relationship with the women he left my mother for. they go to church together. I was 11, what the hell did I know? I just knew that what he was doing was wrong. even more wrong was him lying about it. I dont know why he took me to see space jam that day. maybe he was bored or figured he better do something before I die at a young age of stress and he felt guilty. either way it was a waste of time, and film.

Television:

family guy. MSNBC count down with keith Oberman, MSNBC, Meerkat Manor, I love New York, Conan o Brien, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Spike Ferguson, montell Williams Sylvia brown Wednesdays. I just like to watch for her lies. wonder showzen, spongebob, MSNBC, youtube.

Books:

what?

Heroes:

Jesus! I have to say Jesus is my hero. I mean he is so cool. you can always hang out with Jesus because no one can see him. pluuuuus! you dont even have to talk out loud to Jesus so people who cant see him wont think youre crazy. not that it matters because no one is cooler than Jesus so they can all go suck it. I think its so cool how Jesus can read your mind, I dont think its cool though that he can see you do bad things. sometimes you can hear him and its like, "can I have some space". Then it gets weird. In the end though we have been through some shit and Im glad he's still cool with me.

My Blog

Did anyone see Jimmy Kimmel last nite?

Billy Idol kicked ass!You can check it out herehttp://abc.go.com/latenight/jimmykimmel/index
Posted by Lorena Torres on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:04:00 PST

cobalt and calcium

Is it all you've shared with them that makes us paranoid?Is it the dream that one day you might be something you're own?Is it all you've shared with them that makes us paranoid?Is it the dreams that m...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Sat, 31 May 2008 11:15:00 PST

look its a show

.................
Posted by Lorena Torres on Thu, 08 May 2008 01:11:00 PST

If I Die or Disappear. I would never kill myself or just take off

First, I would like to let everyone know what we are very appreciate of all the messages and kindness you have all shown. Jes is back home and doing great. I will have an update complete with pictures...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Sat, 03 May 2008 11:31:00 PST

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers

Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, and kind words you have sent to our little family during this stressful time. All of you are in our thoughts and prayers and we have asked God to bless you to...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:18:00 PST

FUCK CANCER! You effing Loser!

After finding out the results of my girlfriend Jessica's Biopsy I had this to say to Cancer.Hey you!Yeah you, Cancer. Fuck you! I said... Fu-ck YOU! What you want some of this?! You cant find anything...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 02:42:00 PST

I do chicks

Totally!
Posted by Lorena Torres on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:32:00 PST

something doesnt smell right.

Do you know the worst part about lesbians? they are just like anyone else. when I was first converted, ten years ago, the representative explained to me that lesbians had superpowers. aside from the ...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Mon, 25 Feb 2008 05:17:00 PST

PASS THIS ON Call Lorena 24 hours a day 602-368-2929

PASS THIS ON Call Lorena 24 hours a day 602-368-2929 Add to My Profile | More Videos...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Sat, 26 Jan 2008 09:30:00 PST

undefined My mom and birthday parties

My mom and birthday parties Add to My Profile | More Videos...
Posted by Lorena Torres on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:44:00 PST