jåɱus | ƪɳʂɑɲɭɘɏ tʷȋƨtɇȡ profile picture

jåɱus | ƪɳʂɑɲɭɘɏ tʷȋƨtɇȡ

So Glad For The Madness

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Most Recent News: Downtime
"You couldn't be, you couldn't be me even if you wanted to,
Everything I've been through.
You wouldn't know.
Live your life, soaking up all my sunshine,
And smile your whole life,
I wouldn't know"
Speak Your Mind

Gender
: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 22
Sign: Virgo
City: FORKS
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 10 Jan 2005, 11:00

[Greets, my name is James, although I go by many other names, I was borninto this mortal life on August 31rst, 1985 at 4:49A.M in Merced, California. I have adaughter and a son, my daughters name is TaLena Rae-Ann and my sons nameis Ryan James, she was born on March 6th2003, he was born September 3rd 2006. I am currently residing in Port Angeles, Washington.

I'm a poet, an artist, i dwell in nothing.
I live off of everything,i am truth, I amlies.
I honor the earth, in her name, could i only exist.

I exist too resist, temptation is my only evil, lust, desire, envy,greed.

Evil is not bad, it is only good, in time all actions will have anoutcome..

I don't believe in god, nor do i believe in hate.
I believe in mother, and what she can create.

Running through the wilderness, admiring the beauty of nature
All the animals, all of life.
The moon and the stars, the night sky dwelling up high,
Silent and still, reflecting upon us, the past, present, and future.
In our memories we will shine

We will dream, we will put all our problems behind us,
We will be happy, we will be free
We will be, what we want to be..


Ryan James
TaLena Rae-Ann
TaLena

Likes


The color black, blue, and green.
Hmm Drugs.
Yes, drugs. As in mind altering substances.
Weed Speed Shrooms Cid, X, Coke Crank, Crys.
Music, if you don't listen to it I'm going to think there is somethingseriouslly wrong with you.
A very wide range of music.
That's all in my music area though.. KmK 4 Life. heh..
Hurt..
Addiction
Sex
Lies
Roses
Adrenaline
Paintball shizit.
Being shot at by paintball Shizit
Shooting back wit' my paintball shizit
Not getting shot within 5 minutes of the game of paintball shizit

Dislikes


Drama Whores (keep it to yourself.)
Labels (just be yourself.)
Ex-Girlfriends (they always seem to get it twisted.)
Grudges (grow up and get the fuck over it.)
Being on someones friends list when they have me blocked (wtf is that.)
Ignorance (is not an excuse)
Betrayal
Liars
Thiefs
Cheaters
Hypocritical statements
(I don't like myself much)
Critisism
Lazyness
Insomnia
Police Officers
The government
Loud voices
Making lists that no one reads. That's all i'm saying..
Wanna knowmore ask me.

Music



Finger Eleven - Above

Pics



Poems
What Could Have Been(My Favorite Memory)

Time is on my side, and it seems it's the only..
Companion i will have for the rest of eternity..
I look forward to my end..
But i don't comprehend...
Failure...
Have i failed in my task?
Can i even remember my task?
My task is as it was,
Once begun, to unravel thus.
Feelings of hatred
Feelings of fear..
Feelings that come no where near...
To the way i felt..
That one day...
When it was foggy..
And you had nothing to say..
We both sat...
And stared into each others eyes..
For the longest time..
everything was fine, Oh how i wish..
We could have given it a try..
It could have worked..
But we'll never know..
Because all we ever were..
Were two souls, in each others eyes.
I often remember that night..
When the moon was full and at it's bright.
When we were alone..
Everything was so right..
We made a connection..
A connection that was ignored..
Because in our minds at the time..
We only wanted to even the score..
I felt more..
And i know you did too..
How simple those days were..
But how complicated too..
I miss your scent..
I miss your touch..
I miss everything about you..
Oh so very much..
You are gone..
You have left..
And now i reminise..
On all the feelings that had an effect..
That first kiss..
That first night..
The first time..
I ever saw something so right..

Falling Into Darkness

I smile and turn my head in shame,
as i wonder what you're trying to say.
You don't need to speak another word,
from the look in your eyes I have already understood.

I watch the tears roll down your face,
now i feel like such a disgrace.
This pain has taken me away,
taken me away to a better place.

I look into your eyes and hear your voice,
you mean so much to me I can't make this choice.
You take my hand, mine in yours.
My eyes are open, now they are closed.

As we fall our hands become one.
As we cry our souls collide,
we're falling into darkness.
Together we fly, soaring high above the sky.
It's just you and me now together forever,
no more worries, we are at peace.
Nothing else means anything.
Hate Fed Love
Sometimes, i feel sad.. Sometimes..
Always, i remember..

Forever haunted by your words..
Your words that put me in so much pain..

Sometimes i hurt..
I hurt because you put everything so plain..
In front of my face..

Hurt.. I hurt because, you Put me on a guilt trip..
Just so you can feel better..

Sometimes.. Sometimes, i wish you'd go away..
But always.. Always, Will i love you..
Do you feel better?

Forever.. Forever, i will be gone..

No remorse, no guilt.. All that i have felt..
Will be free.. Free from my own mysery..

I hate.. I hate when you say the things you say,
but i hate even more when you don't mean them.
Do you mean it this time?

Do you realise what you've said?
What will become.. I can reassure you,
this time it won't be as fun..

You think your getting off.. Getting off so easily,
with everything you've done..
Just to please..
Yourself..

You, it's all about you, nobody else..

Your perfect in everyway,
and i despise everyword you say,
nothing you say can make anything better,
and yet, it doesn't make it worse..
It simply, takes it's course..

I hate you, i hate you so much that i love..
I love hating,
I love you.

You gave me life,
you brought me here,
now you take away,
everything that makes me sincere,
everything that is mine,
you stole and raped me of my pride.

You took advantage of me,
in my time of need..
And now i'm gone..
So long..
Coming Undone
Sick of all the shit, I want to get out..
I feel like i'm in prison, with no window to look out..
Everyones always telling me what to do,
every action i take is just another mistake,
all i ever wanted was to be with you..
Too look good in your eyes, too understand why..
To be what you expected me to be..
Free, and without worry..
Happy..
True to my desire, open to my heart..
My love for you is tearing me apart...
The feeling i have has burnt deep within
My flesh has decayed and my days have come to end..
My bones have turned to dust..
I've become undone..

Sometimes & Always
Sometimes i wish,

sometimes i cry.

Sometimes i wish i could break down and die.

Sometimes i wish,

Sometimes i'm sad.

Sometimes i wish that i still had,

you to hold, and you to love,

you to care, and tell me everything will be okay.

Sometimes i wish,

sometimes i feel.

Sometimes i wish that i knew this was real

I feel like i've lost my way,

but then i remember every word that you say.

Sometimes i wish,

that my wishes would come true,

but sometimes i don't have to wish,

because i will always love you.

Simply Sick
I don't understand,
I don't understand at all..

I don't comprehend,
I can't react to your reactions,
I can't act to your actions.

I never know what to say,
I never know what to do..
All i ever wanted was too simply be with you..

It seems that is over,
and dreams don't come true..

So now, i guess there is nothing left too do..

I tried as hard as i could..

I really did, but i guess thats not the point..

The point would be,
that trying is just not enough for me..

Should i give up all hope?
Lose myself in the twisting road of depression,
once again.
It seems as if
there is nothing that will mend,
all the wounds i have..

From all the times you lied,

All the times i tried..

To understand a piece more..

Just so i could be treated like a whore..

It's done.. Over with,
I have nothing left to give..

My mind has been broken,
i have been shattered..

I am simply satisfied
with acknowledging this lost cause,
Yes lost..

Nothing more to do,
but simply sit alone,
Without remorse,
without fear,
I feel simply sick,
and i don't want anyone near..

I want to hide,
i want to cry..

I can't do either
because i'm simply not here..

This is fucked up,
there is no point..

I will continue too ramble on,
and hope you don't listen,
simply because,
there is nothing worth missing...
Final Words
I don't care anymore, i don't care at all..
I'm rotten, and i'm decaying.
Into the dirt, that you piss on when no one is around..
I'm sorry i didn't feel
I'm sorry i couldn't be real...
This life really, is nothing more to me
Don't fret over your sorrow
Don't be consumed by sadness
Don't even be happy
For what you are, or what you lack of
I really hate you
But i don't care
Because in this world
I have nothing more to share...
My final words
Look into my eyes
And as i say them
Fuck off, goodbye...
True Love
Sometimes i feel the weight of the world on my back.
I won't surrender, as long as you don't cut me any slack.

I'll keep on fighting, as long as i have to, I'll keep pretending, that i'm not like you.
We both know the truth, we both know what to do.
Everyone new how this was going to end, before i even knew
how it began.

They predicted our future, but we still kept going,
Thinking everything would go on course forever.
Not even knowing, that someday just like it all began,
It would all come to an end.

Leaving our friendship too be gone yet again.
It would be like how it was,
When we never existed, in our minds.
Oh how everything was so fine.

I wouldn't take it back or give any of it up,
For all the pain and heartache, still wasn't enough.

It wasn't a mistake, it was meant to happen.
Why though is something, that i could never begin to fathom.
Think of all the good times, the moments we had.
Enjoy them while you can, and try not to think of the bad.
If life gets to hard on you, just remember,
You will always be in my heart, so don't get too sad.

I will always be here for you, through ugly and new
Because in my heart, i will always love you,
And in my mind you will always be mine,
My one true love.."

Links


My Graphics

Avenged Sevenfold

Insanely-Twisted
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My Blog

Downtime!

My internet is down for a few, until I either downgrade back to XP, or I locate and install the proper Vista drivers for my Wireless Adapter. I think I've found them so, when I go home I'll give it a ...
Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 04:58:00 PST

Finger Eleven - Above

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Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 09:01:00 PST

Finger Eleven - First Time

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Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 08:58:00 PST

Finger Eleven - Bones And Joints

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Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 08:58:00 PST

Finger Eleven - Drag You Down

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Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 08:47:00 PST

Many faces..

http://www.myheritage.com..>..>...
Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 05:21:00 PST

Chaos theory:Seoul

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Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 06:30:00 PST

Chaos Theory: Seoul

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Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 06:23:00 PST

Talena - What I've Always Wanted

Talena, What I've Always Wanted. Music: Kittie - What I've Always Wanted...
Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Wed, 23 May 2007 09:53:00 PST

This is what happens when you get fucked up..

This is what happens when you get fucked up.. (which I am now..)  Jamus Jimmy Matt Other  From  To  Message 4/28/2007  2:04:25 AM  Jimmy  Jamus [insanely-twisted]&n...
Posted by jåqus | ªs‚QrmXO t· ¨tG! on Sat, 28 Apr 2007 05:54:00 PST