Greg

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken here? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?14. Stop singing and read on..........15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?19. Why does a hot pocket filled with hot pocket taste just like a hot pocket?"Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your Ass tomorrow......'