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A About Me Survey Cool Enough To Own Your Mama!
~About The Coolest Person Ever~
~Basics~
Full Name: christopher jones
Birthdate: 03/12/1985
Place Of Birth: fairview hosp
Hometown: north olmsted
Where You Live Now: north olmsted
School: n/a
Work: sure
Hobbies: sex
~Looks~
Natural Hair Color: brown
Dyed Hair Color: no
Length And Style: short straight
Eyes: brown
Skin Color: white tan
Body Type: big guy
Height: 6ft
Weight: 333lbs
Shoe Size: 12
Your Favorite Thing About Yourself: im a big guy
The Worst Thing About Yourself: my mouth
Do You Find Yourself Attractive: fuck yeah
Do You Look More Like Your Mother Or Father: neither
If You Could Compare Yourself To Any Celebrity, Who Would It Be: mel gibson
~Love Life~
Do You Have A Boyfriend Or Girlfriend; Who: no
Would You Rather Be Single, Dating, Or In A Serious Relationship: single
Describe Your Ideal Date: movies head
Do You Have A Crush; Who: no
How Many Boyfriends / Girlfriends Have You Had: too many
Have You Ever Been In Love: yes
Do You Fall In Love Easily: no
Do You Believe In One Person For Everyone: no
Do You Want To Get Married: already happen
~In A Partner~
Hair Color: brown
Hair Style: long straight
Eye Color: brown or blue
Height: mid
Weight: skinny with curves
Looks Or Personality: both
What Type Of Personality: funny
Name 3 Charactoristics They Have To Have With Looks: sex
Name 3 Charactoristics They Have To Have With Personality: sex
Fat Or Skinny: skinny
Dumb Or Smart: smart
Education Needs: none
Work Needs: work
Clothes Style: off
~Favorites~
Color: black
Shape: round
Number: 63
Letter: j
Word: jonesen
Saying: you can have any color just as long as its black
Time Of Day: now
Season: fall
Smell: my ass
Author: none
Book: sniper
Actor: mel gibson
Actress: none
Movie: halloween
Television Show: prison break
Band: red hot chilli pepers
Singer: none
Song: none
Type Of Music: all
Website: myspace, yahoo, google
Animal: dog
Store: walmart
Toy: gun
~Personal~
Religion: none
Race: white
Heritage: german
Zodiac Sign: fish
Chinese Sign: n/a
Political Group: who cares
~Future Plans~
School / Degree: no
Job: sure
Family Life: do it
Type Of House: big
Type Of Car: lots
~Opinions On These Topics~
Bush: fuck him
Kerry: fuck him
Republicans: fuck them
Democrats: fuck them
Abortion: fuck that
Drug Use: fuck you
Gay Marriage: cool
Globel Warming: who cares
War On Terror: kill them all
Military: us
Religion: no
~Are You~
Nice: sometimes
Mean: sometimes
Angry: sometimes
Happy: sometimes
Understanding: sure
A Good Listener: always
Opinionated: maybe
Stupid: no
Smart: yes
Sassy: no
Sexy: yes
Shy: no
Outgoing: yes
Loving: yes
Confused: no
~Do You / Have You~
Drink: yes
Smoke: yes
Drugs: no
Have Sex: yes
Skipped School: yes
Talked Behind Someones Back: no
Skinny Dipped: yes
Swear: yes
Cheat: yes
Lie: yes
Steal: yes
Read: yes
~This Or That~
Money Or Love: money
Hugs Or Kisses: kisses
Sex Or Wait: sex
Fight Or Be Nice: fight
Juice Or Pop: juice
Sweets Or Salt: sweet
Love Or Hate: love
Sleep Or Exercise: sleep
Work Or School: work
Laugh Or Cry: both
Serious Or Joke: both
~All Of The Yummys / Favorite~
Resturaunt: dennys
Fast Food Joint: burger king
Breakfast Food: the kings shit
Breakfast Drink: juice
Lunch Food: meat
Lunch Drink: pop
Dinner Food: meat
Dinner Drink: water
Snack Food: butterfinger
Dessert Food: ice cream
Food In General: meat
Drink In General: water
~Your Family~
Mother Name: gail
Father Name: charles
Step Mother Or Father Name: marie/bill
Grandfather Name: jack
Grandmother Name: ann
Sister Name: robin and kim
Brother Name: bryan mike chuck
Uncle Name: fuck them
Aunt Name: fuck them
Cousins Name: jessica
Pets Name: aspen (rip)
Best Friends Name: mike fuckin oakar
Boyfriend / Girlfriend Name
Who Are You Around Most: my brother
Does Everyone Get Along: sometimes
~Crazy Questions~
Who Is Your Hero And Why: my dad enough said
Who Is The Hottest Person: my wife
If You Were Trapped On And Island Who Would You Bring: my brother and wife
What Are 3 Things You Cannot Live Without: cigs, sex, my famly
What Are You Best Known For: fucking shit up
Would You Do Girls Gone Wild: yes
What Is The Craziest Thing You Have Ever Done: lots
Your Most Embarissing Moment: cant remember
~3 Words To Describe Yourself~
1: fun
2: big
3: energy
~3 Words To Describe Life~
1: fuck
2: the
3: world
~3 Words To Describe Your Best Friend~
1: big
2: funny
3: happy
~3 Words To Describe Your Boyfriend / Girlfriend~
1: fun
2: butt
3: loyal
~3 Things People Might Not Know About You~
1: asshole
2: dick
3: gofuckyourself
~Ending Questions~
Do You Believe In Love: yes
Do You Believe That Life Will Get Better: no
Do You Enjoy The Fact Your Living: sometimes
What Is One Thing You Live For: charlotte
Did You Enjoy This Survey: sure
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Halloween Survey
Costumes
What was your first halloween costume?: micheal myers
What costume did you hate?: none
What are you being this year?: micheal myers
What was your most expensive costume?: 500$
What was your favorite costume?: micheal myers
What would you love to be?: micheal myers
When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?: last year and many more to go
Candy
M&Ms or Skittles?: mm
Berry or Tropical Flavors?: tropical
White, Milk, or Dark Chocolate?: milk
Sour or Sweet?: sweet
Chewy or Crunchy?: both
Cloddhoppers or Whoppers?: whoppers
Chocolate-covered Raisins or Peanuts?: peanuts
Starburst or Gobstoppers?: both
Bubble gum or lollipops?: both
Cheesy or Barbeque chips?: cheesy
Frighteners
What was the first horror movie you saw?: halloween
What was the last horror movie you saw?: halloween
Zombies or Aliens?: zombies
Ghosts or Vampires?: vampires
What are the goriest movies you've seen?: too many to say
Who's scarier: "The Ring" girl or "The Exorcist" girl?: exorcist
Who's Scarier: The "Saw" clown or the "Chucky" doll?: chucky
What did you like better: "Goosebumps" or "Are You Afraid of The Dark?": both
What do you prefer: "Resident Evil" or "Silent Hill"?: resident evil
What was the scariest video game you've played?: resident evil
Rap-Up
What are you doing for Halloween this year?: taking my kid trick or treat
What is your biggest pet peeve about trick-or-treaters?: clean
What was your favorite jack-o-lantern you helped carve?: this one i did today with my wife and kid and brother
Have you ever been out on Devils' Night?: sure
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45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone
whats your name spelt backwards?: senoj rehpotsirhc (christopher jones)
What did you do last night?: nothing
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: music
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: yes
Last time you swam in a pool?: last summer
What are you wearing?: my everyday cloths
How many cars have you owned?: 13
Type of music you dislike most?: all types
Are you registered to vote?: no
Do you have cable?: no
What kind of computer do you use?: hp
Ever made a prank phone call?: yes
You like anyone right now?: yes
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: both
Furthest place you ever traveled?: the world
What's your favorite comic strip?: n/a
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: yes
Shower, morning or night?: both
Best movie you've seen in the past month?: holloween
Favorite pizza toppings?: cheese
Chips or popcorn?: chips
What cell phone provider do you have?: all of them
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: no
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: no
Orange Juice or apple?: both
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: parents
favorite chocolate bar?: butterfinger
Who is your longest friend and how long?: mike oakar forever
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: never
Have you ever won a trophy?: many
Favorite arcade game?: pacman
Ever ordered from an infomercial?: no
Sprite or 7-UP?: sprite
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: yes
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: cigs
Ever thrown up in public?: yes
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: millionaire (love will find you)
Do you believe in love at first sight?: sometimes
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: spongebob
Did you have long hair as a young kid?: little
What message is on your voicemail machine?: my number
Where would you like to go right now?: strip club
Whats the name of your pet?: aspen (rip)
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: stuff
What do you think about most?: my kid
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Sexual Orientation
First things first
Are you gay, bi, or straight?: straight
Name: christopher jones
Age: 22
Religion: none
General
What's your stance on homosexuality?: its fine with me
Do you think they should be able to get married?: sure
How about to adopt?: only in usa
If you friend out your best friend was gay, what would you do?: be cool
What would you do if you saw a kid getting bashed because he was gay?: help him
Would you ever bash a gay kid?: no
How do you feel about homophobes?: whatever
How about President Bush taking away all their rights?: dick
Tell me this: do you or do you not support Bush?: not a bush fan
If you're gay or bi...(skip this heteros)
When did you realize you liked the same sex?:
Have you come out yet?:
If you have what's the story there?:
Would/do your parents accept it?:
Your friends?:
Have you had any homosexual experiences yet?:
Do you hope to be:
How outspoken about your gaynosity are you?:
Do you care what others think?:
Do you even belong to a religion that condemns it?:
If you're straight...(skip this homos)
Do you have any gay/bi friends?: yes
If so how many?: lots
What would you do if you found out your lover was gay?: its cool
Do you belong to any religion that condemns homosexuality?: no
Are you a homophobe?: no
How do you feel about them?: gay
Would you speak up your (good) opinions even if you're not gay?: sure
Supporters: do you try to talk sense into homophobes?: not really waste of time
Homophobes: do you try to change homosexuals?: n/a
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That's How I Roll....
Nickname: jones
Sign: fish
FAVORITE
Color: black
Restaurant: dennys
Type of food: country cook out
Store: walmart
TV Show: prison break
Movie: halloween
Book: sniper
Junk food item: oreos
Bad habit: clean freak
Deadly sin (there are 7 to choose from): n/a
Breakfast item: pancak
Time of day: now
Vacation spot: legs
Chore: none
Clothing item: walmart
Position: all
Ex: con
Car: audio yeah
Dive bar: sure
Perfume/Cologne: cologne
Sport: football
Condiment: all
President: eat my bush
Song: fuck yourself
Album: too many
Actress: good for sex
Actor: mel gibson
Artist: mike
Painting: aspen
Beverage (non-alcoholic): cherry coke
Drink (alcoholic): miller lite
Appetizer: boneless chicken
Tree: lots
Flower: sun
Shampoo: whatever works
Soap: whatever works
Magazine: playboy
Coffee shop: none
Food Network Cook: none
Cartoon: tweety
Holiday: halloween
HAVE YOU EVER... (describe)
been out of the country: yes
done something you will NEVER do again: yes
video taped yourself having sex: yes
had sex in a public place: yes
had a one night stand: yes
been in love: yes
been engaged: yes
been married: yes
quit your job: yes
been fired: yes
been on a road trip: yes
done something REALLY embarrassing: yes
done drugs: yes
regretted somthing the next morning: yes
been in a car accident: yes
been in a fight: yes
had food poisoning: yes
been late to work: yes
worked in a restaurant: yes
been homeless: yes
lived alone: td alig
mel gibson and lil jon
An incomparable marksman, stealthy, silent, relentless, hiding among snowcapped peaks; the muzzle of a high-powered rifle aimed directly at the camera; helicopters swirling over mountains and city streets, pursuing the hero from the sky; gunmetal colors everywhere, and the chuggah-chuggah-chuggah of pounding drums and electronic music, a sound both primal and advanced at the same time: “Shooter,†directed by Antoine Fuqua and starring Mark Wahlberg, as Bob Lee Swagger, a betrayed Marine marksman who becomes a vigilante crusader for justice, is a virtual textbook of action clichés. Fuqua made something fiery and memorable out of “Training Day†(2001), with its demonic performance by Denzel Washington as a corrupt cop, but here the director serves as little more than a skilled functionary. For two hours, chase follows shoot-out as Swagger fires at men who, like movie targets from time immemorial, obligingly refuse to take cover. Swagger never misses—he could hunt mosquitoes for a living—and the extras, both live and digital, do their job; they fall down. The action has an oddly undifferentiated, wearying feel to it. Yet this standard industrial product does something strange. On the surface, the movie offers liberal ideological sentiments: it condemns covert overseas operations controlled by oil interests; it’s angry at the higher-ups who escaped blame for Abu Ghraib; it exhibits a clear distaste for the person and values of Dick Cheney. But it places these sentiments within a matrix of gun culture and lonely-man-of-honor myths. Swagger is the latest incarnation of Rambo, the anti-government crazy. The filmmakers may be trying to appeal both to liberals and to the Pat Buchanan conservatives who hate big government and multinational corporations and want American warriors to stay home. The clash of political currents suggests the degree of confusion roiling Hollywood at the moment. How do moviemakers find military heroes in the midst of an unpopular overseas war?When we first see Swagger, he is taking down uniformed soldiers as part of a mysterious operation somewhere in the Horn of Africa. The operation is scrubbed, and Swagger and his partner, a spotter, are abandoned. Outraged, Swagger quits the Marines, and moves to a cabin in Wyoming with his dog. But he’s pulled back into action by a retired colonel (Danny Glover), who works in some unnamed federal agency. The colonel tells Swagger that a sniper may be planning to assassinate the President, and the agency needs Swagger to think like him and track him down. But the hero is being set up—made to look (for reasons I will not explain) as though he’s the one attempting the hit. The plotters try to eliminate their patsy on the spot. Swagger is shot twice, falls through a window, nearly drowns in the Delaware River, yet, with all of law enforcement after him, manages to escape into the American nowhere. Throughout the rest of the movie, he takes vengeance on the swine who tried to do him in—a rogue unit in the government, operating under the control of a powerful, oil-mad senator from Montana (the Cheney figure, played by Ned Beatty). The government may be rotten, but American honor is saved by the lone killer.The movie is based on the successful 1993 novel “Point of Impact,†by the Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter, whose glumly macho fictions (there are three Bob Lee Swagger books) are very different in tone from his shrewd and funny reviews. Swagger has many notches on his gun. From a distance, in hiding, he has killed dozens of people in war, and the movie celebrates his prowess in all its solitary cultic glory while wrapping him in an aura of sanctimonious approval. The mechanics of audience manipulation may be obvious here, but they often work. The shooter, twice betrayed, becomes a victim. His fight against corrupt enemies absolves him of any personal guilt, and we can simultaneously enjoy his skill at picking people off and the righteousness of his wrath.The screenwriter, Jonathan Lemkin, has acknowledged a debt not only to Hunter but to “Three Days of the Condor†and “The Parallax View,†seventies thrillers that drew on fears of shadowy government conspiracies. Lemkin has updated the old plots with gun-catalogue lore. The movie is full of contented talk of rifles and ammunition, and at one point Swagger picks up an astounding amount of what can only be called ordnance at a Virginia shopping mall. Snub-nosed and barrel-chested, Wahlberg looks a little like a gun himself. “What I love about Mark,†the movie’s producer, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, has said, “is he’s not afraid to be a man.†Perhaps not, but di Bonaventura and Fuqua seem afraid to let him be an actor. In this role, he certainly has the stillness and the determination of a marksman, but he mutters in a sludgy monotone that’s hard to understand. Wahlberg has an unpretentious air about him, and I’d hate to see him get locked into dour star turns as an implacable killer. The engaging, fast-talking idiosyncrasy of his performance in “The Departed†has vanished.In “300,†a blood-dark account of the battle of Thermopylae, the Spartan king, Leonidas (Gerard Butler), and his noble queen, Gorgo (Lena Headey), make love in the full splendor of their nakedness. When the Spartans, pumped like linebackers leaving the weight room, go out to fight, they wear nothing but leather codpieces and red capes; they die clutching one another’s hands. The Persians go one better. Their king, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), an epicene seven-footer with a shaved head and what looks like a gold-lamé thong, lounges on cushions in his court, surrounded by aroused lesbians intertwined and writhing like snakes in a basket. When he goes out to fight, he commands an army of robed and turbaned slaves who enthusiastically hurl themselves onto Spartan spears. “300,†which grossed nearly a hundred and thirty million dollars in its first ten days of release, is perhaps the nuttiest film ever to become an enormous box-office hit. Based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller, the movie is a porno-military curiosity—a muscle-magazine fantasy crossed with a video game and an Army recruiting film. The director, Zack Snyder, poses the Spartan heroes against the horizon or along the crests of mountains under roiling skies. The softening colors of blue and yellow have been filtered or drained out of the palette; the dominant remaining color is the molten brown-gold of bronze shields. The action is prolonged in agonizing slow motion, only to snap to hyper-speed and then to a full stop, leaving nothing moving but the fountain of blood spurting from a decapitated body.In Tehran, after pirated copies hit the streets there a few weeks ago, the movie was quickly denounced by an Iranian government spokesman as an act of “psychological warfare†that was intended to prepare Americans for an invasion of the country. “American cultural officials thought they could get mental satisfaction by plundering Iran’s historic past and insulting this civilization,†he said. The complaint was echoed by President Ahmadinejad, who said, “They are trying to tamper with history . . . by making Iran’s image look savage,†and a Time correspondent reported that many Iranians assumed that the movie was produced by an American government conspiracy. It is perhaps unfair to expect the Iranians to develop a sense of humor about American pop culture. They may also have trouble understanding that commercial American movies are ordered up not by “cultural officials†but by studio officials. The film is, of course, less an act of psychological warfare than an act of capitalism. It was called into being not by a hunger for war but by the desire to exploit a market—professional-wrestling and X-treme Fighting saturnalias play into the movie’s atmosphere. Everyone screams at everyone, and specialized Persian warriors wearing masks and other freakish regalia turn up to do battle. Pop has always drawn energy from the lower floors of respectability; this movie, in which fan-boy cultism reaches new levels of goofy chaos and sexual confusion, draws energy from the subbasement.Still, the Iranians have a point: though first planned years ago, “300†is a political fable that uneasily engages the current moment. An all-volunteer expeditionary force of Spartans ventures forth, the warriors sacrificing themselves to stop the invading hordes from killing their wives and children, which may be an allusion to the Bush Administration’s get-them-in-Iraq-before-they-hit-us-here rationale. The Spartans also fight, as a lofty narration informs us, “against mysticism and tyranny.†Against mysticism? How many ancient armies went to their deaths with that as their battle song? And how many men have died, as the Spartans do, to defend “reasonâ€? A whiff of contemporary disdain for the East—what the late Edward Said called “Orientalismâ€â€”arises from the mayhem: “300†turns into a dawn-of-democracy epic in which violence is marshalled to protect the future of Western civilization. Made in a time of frustration, when Americans are fighting a war that they can neither win nor abandon, “300†and “Shooter†feel like the products of a culture slowly and painfully going mad. ?
Proud To Be WhiteThere are African Americans, Mexican Americans,Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc.And then there are just Americans.You pass me on the streetand sneer in my direction.You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," "Honkey,""Whitey," "Caveman" ..And that's OK.But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you,So why are the ghettos the mostdangerous places to live?You have the United Negro College Fund.You have Martin Luther King Day.You have Black History Month.You have Cesar Chavez Day.You Have Yom HashoahYou have Ma'uled Al-NabiYou have the NAACP.You have BET.If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) ! We'd be racists.If we had a White Pride Day ..You would call us racists.If we had White History MonthWe'd be racists.If we had any organization for only whitesto "advance" OUR lives ..!We'd be racists.We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,a Black Chamber of Commerce,And then we just have theplain Chamber of Commerce.Wonder who pays for that?If we had a college fund that only gavewhite students scholarships... You know we'd be racists.There are over 60 openly proclaimedBlack Colleges in the US ,Yet if there were "White colleges" ..THAT would be a racist college.In the Million Man March,you believed that you were marchingFor your race and rights.If we marched for our race and rights,You would call us racists.You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're Not afraid to announce it.But when we announce our white pride .You call us racists.You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.But, when a white police officerShoots a black gang memberor beats up a black drug-dealer runningFrom the law and posing a threat to societyYou call him a racist.I am proud.But, you call me a racist.Why is it that only whitescan be racists?
mom, dad, brother, wife.