The Want And Want Nots...
I want to be one of those people who can see the good in anything. I want to be that person that does something to change the world. I don't want to follow the rules of society, I was never a follower and what do they know about what's good for my life?
I don't want to see the world through bitter and jaded eyes. I don't want to let the world's flaws overwhelm me. I don't want to make continuous posts of the newest and latest news of how fucked up the world is. I don't want to be in a constant state of mourning. I don't want to get so caught up in all the wrong in the world that I forget how to live.
I don't need to win the lottery or make a million dollars a year. And by chance I ever do, I won't be one of those people who buy a twenty bedroom house to waste useful funds that I know in my heart I don't deserve. I will not succumb to greed and selfishness in such grand scales because I won't be able to sleep at night and feel good about myself.
I want to live and find happiness. I want to be open-minded and not let preconceived notions prevent me from seeing the other side of the fence. I don't need to be the judge of my neighbor, for what makes me happy may not make them happy and vice versa.
I want to live without labels or pre-set roles. I don't need a tag that reads I'm female, white, American, liberal, Christian, a tomboy, poor, ugly, punk, etc. As much as society wants to put these labels on me, they aren't what makes me me. They're just labels.
I'm female, but that doesn't mean I act in a way that society deems "female". Just because I believe in God doesn't mean that I go door to door shoving the good word down people's throats. And if I listen to punk music that doesn't make me "punk". I'm just me, and those are only small pieces to the puzzle.
I don't want to live in a state of fear...fear of my own government, fear of propaganda of terrorism pushed in my face that I'm afraid to walk out of my home. I want to be a free spirit and enjoy the small things in life.
I want to grow old with someone, brush our teeth (or fake teeth depending) together when we're 70. I want to be in a relationship with someone who actually gets me. I don't want to break anyone's heart like I've had mine broke many times over. I don't want to look back on my past as wasted years.
I want to view life as a series of experiences with something to learn from each. I want to believe in the idea that everyone has something to teach and everyone has something to learn. I don't want to repeat the same mistake but I will as long as in the end I learn.
I want to know that somehow behind everything, there's a reason... there's a method to the madness. That none of this is just a dream someone else is having.
I don't want to generalize people. I want to individualize everything and everyone. No two people are the same even if they have similarities. I don't want to place two unique entities under a common canopy and take away the enigma of what makes them, them.
I don't ever want to stop being an idealist. I don't want to let pessimism take away my trusted faith and mask it as realism. I don't ever want to stop believing in fairytales of "happily ever after".
I want to find a direction and a purpose.
I want to work to live, not live to work.
I want to laugh not cry.
I want to smile, not frown.
I want to give everyone the second chance they deserve.
I don't want to get burned and hurt for being naive.
And maybe I can get some of this accomplished in 2009, because this is the best I can come to making a resolution than anything else... the want and want nots of me.
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Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Created by naw5689 and taken 9036 times on bzoink!
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: Descendents
Are you male or female: Sillygirl
Describe yourself: I'm Not A Loser
How do some people feel about you: She Loves Me
How do you feel about yourself: I Don't Wanna Grow Up
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Sour Grapes
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: N/A (Don't have one)
Describe where you want to be: Ride The Wild
Describe what you want to be: Good Good Things
Describe how you live: Clean Sheets
Describe how you love: In Love This Way
Share a few words of wisdom "I'm the one, I've been here for you all along. I'm the one, the shoulder you've been crying on."
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I'm Only...
Strength in fortitude.
Frailty in solitude.
Susceptibility in culpability.
Determination in tenacity.
I'm only as weak as I let you break me.
Intelligence in clarity.
Half-witted in obscurity.
Vulnerable in exposure.
Endurance in closure.
I'm only as oblivious as I let you blind me.
Desirable in captivation.
Temptation in devastation.
Hopeless in validity.
Defined in authenticity.
I'm only as useless as I let you use me.
Stubborn in authority.
Influenced in naivety.
Gullible in experience.
Trusting in innocence.
I'm only as led as I let you control me.
© - Jen
Seven
Understand me.
Dig beneath what society sees, and find me.
Love me.
Prove to me your feelings and emotions for me.
Trust me.
Tell your secrets and dreams to me.
Take care of me.
Shelter me from the pain and suffering that lies in store for me.
Challenge me.
Show me no other has what it takes to conquer me.
Release me.
Give me the freedom that belongs to me.
Complete me.
Be the person, that can’t live without me.
© - Jen
Here
It's cold here...
This little crawl space that I call my own.
It's familiar here, in the dark.
My shivers are rhythmic to a silent beat.
Rejection, an old friend of mine.
It's chaotic here...
This disarray that spins from right to left.
It's commonplace here, in this littered mess.
My thoughts are rambled in a fuddled aim.
Anxiety, my devoted ally.
It's desolate here...
This solitude of elbowroom with occupancy just for one.
It's habitual here, in isolation.
My voices talk in broken promises.
Loneliness, the trusted confidant.
It's damp here...
This wetness that leaves me dry.
It's natural here, in disillusionment.
My reality seeps into the marrow of my bones.
Futility, my outspoken advocate.
It's raw here...
This ache that is a constant hum.
It's native here, in disease.
My body weeps for the curing elixir.
Broken, my dedicated guardian.
Where is here? Here is home.
© - Jen
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