rowena

I am one of those pathetic martyrs who live shitty lives. I don’t care about how most people think and talk about how I am. They are most definitely free to judge and misjudge me. I wouldn’t waste time trying to explain myself in any way I can because doing that wouldn’t alter people’s thinking and it wouldn’t really matter if people think of me positively anyway so what’s the point? I’m really hard to understand and knowing me is pretty difficult because I am distant to people. I see myself to be a depressive person and sharing this miserable gift to others is the least thing I could ever want. This is probably why I am more of a listener than a talker. I’d rather listen to people’s stories than share mine. I don’t think my story is enlightening so I’d rather keep it to myself than to share and drag people’s feelings down. And I’d love it to be that way. I want the most painful chapters of my life unshared to anyone. Oh I love listening because I want to learn. But hey, scratch school off your mind. Stuff I want to learn are the ones that can make me wiser as a person not as a student. Grades are worthless. Grades are just numbers. High grades will never assure me of a good job. Because! Success just doesn’t have a definition and a formula..for if it did, nobody would’ve flopped. My friends…I have few…Less than twenty? I mean, the friends in mind are the ones I’ve really shared my life with, you know what I mean. And honestly, I’m not much of a friendly person. I am choosy with people but I’m not judgmental. I’m not into stupid shit. Hahaha! But I must admit. I’m really careless. I hit a lot of troubles but then, I am responsible for my mess. And I don’t get myself into shit I can’t handle. I don’t like stupid people. Like I said I love listening so I get interested with people who can talk and people I can learn from. If you think I see myself highly then you are dumb. You simply didn’t understand what I meant. I want to try a lot of stuff! Skydiving, snowboarding, kitesurfing, ah! I forgot the others! I am an ultimate lazy-assed bum! I spend most of my time at my frends hauz lazin around, bummin for food and talking with dem… Haaaay…I’ll share you my dream.. I want to see everyone happy. I want them to find acceptance and satisfaction. In my own ways, I’m trying to work on that. Basta. J Believe in God. Open yourself up to other religions. Buddhism, Hinduism and Islam are very beautiful and artistic religions. I don’t think God forces us to be Catholics. If you think you can find him in another religion, go look for him there. It was never about how religious you are. That is not the issue. It was just about sitting in silence and knowing what you have to know. Forget yourself. I don’t believe in self love. I don’t think loving oneself is the only way for you to be able to love other people. In fact I don’t think you can really love anyone if you don’t remove the “self” in you and you love people selflessly. I see death to be e real sweet and magnificent curse/gift. Death is a good friend in disguise while life and time are deceitful bitches. Life can fuck you with the finest style but wait till she asks you for the price. You’d regret one night of pleasure with her for the rest of your years…hahaha! Most of the time, food is most delicious at first taste. When you get used to it, wala na. And you’ll never know when it can poison you. Madalas..sa una lang masaya… I am one of those pathetic marytrs who live shitty lives. That’s not how it seems though… Oh well, it’s just about how we carry ourselves out. hahaha! ^_^