tommy crack

Tommy Crack is a man's man, the kind of man you read about in the bible. A man who came from a time when beating your woman was not only socially acceptable, but encouraged (not that I'm saying spousal abuse is right, I'm just saying that sometimes she deserves it). He has the charisma of Frank Sinatra and the rugged manliness of a lumber jack. Even his last name is manly: "Crack," the phonetic equivalant of a slang term for a fun drug; it's a simple, almost primitive sound like a grunt, straight and to the point without fancy extra syllables and gratuitous punctuation. His default expression is a determined scowl, like he's prepared to introduce you to the business end of his shoe if you look at him wrong.