tiffers profile picture

tiffers

dress me like i own a snake.

About Me

...and maybe giving up this ironic detachment from the only life i'll ever have.

why don't you make like a tree and fuck off.

exceedingly average
passionate understatements
presently absent
wildly disinterested
dangerously innocuous
decidedly ambivalent

ask for my AIM and get a free subscription to my series of entertaining away messages.

here is the link to my livejournal: here you go, please go .

My Interests

discovering oxymorons. other people. and language barriers. i find those endlessly amusing.

I'd like to meet:

other professional civilians. other compensated endorsers.

Music:

the side effects, magnetic fields, pinback, the smiths, REM, death cab, postal service, interpol, jeff buckley, hefner, lucero, pavement, mogwai, clap your hands say yeah, belle and sebastian, blur, radiohead, pj harvey, hum, superchunk, superdrag, built to spill, the halo benders, soul coughing, the fruit bats, ben folds five, ben folds by his lonesome, jonathan richman and the modern lovers, superdrag, minus the bear, the arcade fire, diplo, handsome boy modeling school, m.i.a., manitoba, M83, the polyphonic spree, air, portishead, hooverphonic, folk implosion, pharcyde, le tigre, outkast, sleater kinney, pixies, the breeders, the kinks, pedro the lion, sunny day real estate, ladytron, peaches, fischerspooner, throwing muses, the moldy peaches, the decemberists, kings of convenience, talking heads, tears for fears, etc. RIP: ODB.

Movies:

the big lebowski, wet hot american summer, amelie, house of yes, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, punch drunk love, anchorman, office space, being john malkovitch, donnie darko, waiting for guffman, best in show, bottlerocket, royal tenenbaums, zoolander, let america laugh (david cross), say anything, high fidelity, better off dead, the wedding singer, heathers, ferris bueller's day off, wayne's world, edward scissorhands, pee-wee's big adventure.

Television:

law & order, SVU (duhn duhn), stella, the office, adult swim.

Books:

currently: sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs (soon to be entered into the favorites) greatest hits: fierce invalids home from hot climates, fast food nation, white trash, no logo, writing in restaurants (mamet), breakfast of champions, one flew over the cuckoo's nest, bitter with baggage seeks same, America: the book, the onion. playwrights: tom stoppard, edward albee, harold pinter, samuel beckett, david ives, michael frayn. Preferred Bathroom Reading: mixtape, the art of cassette culture - edited by thurston moore, nominated for Best Bathroom Reading of 2005.

Heroes:

chuck klosterman, david cross, michael ian black, michael showalter, david wain, amelie, lloyd dobler, my brother, elaine diflavis, brian small, soccer moms, and public bathroom cleaners round the world.

My Blog

all apologies: musical pennance playlist (everyone should try this)

I still laugh when I think back on the first poor soul to ever admit to me in any capacity that he had feelings for me. He didn't know what he was dealing with. And only my best of friends from juni...
Posted by tiffers on Mon, 21 Nov 2005 08:15:00 PST

dreams are assholes

two nights ago i had the kind of dream where, when i woke up, i felt like the small percentage of my brain that was still playing with words and images conspired to play a cruel trick on the rest of i...
Posted by tiffers on Fri, 28 Oct 2005 09:00:00 PST

things that are scary

things that are scary: i'm staying home tonight because i feel gross... and my roommates are watching a horror / psychological thriller which i tried to watch, until in the first 10 minutes in t...
Posted by tiffers on Sun, 23 Oct 2005 08:03:00 PST

metaphor for my life .167

lately i haven't the energy to punch my way out of my wet paper bag.  i've been using my boxing glove as a pillow so i can watch the ceiling sink.  
Posted by tiffers on Fri, 21 Oct 2005 07:55:00 PST

what the hell happened to me?

i don't know how this happened, but i've recently brought my social life back to the store and exchanged it for daily readings craigslist 'missed connections.'   the 'i love you / i hate you' co...
Posted by tiffers on Mon, 29 Aug 2005 09:24:00 PST

mr. softee is (possibly) evil

at the risk of sounding like a black denim-wearing film nerd, i believe that the most profoundly disturbing images are generally clashes of content vs. context.  that may be a term that has been ...
Posted by tiffers on Fri, 26 Aug 2005 10:15:00 PST

one reason i shouldn't have kids

after being at work from 10am to 9pm, then going out to dinner with laurie and tanisha, i came home for the first time all day around 11:30 at night... only to realize that i had accidentally closed o...
Posted by tiffers on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

pandering to the whims of idiots

parade of idiots 2: illiterate doctors there's been a long lapse in entries due to the neverending parade of idiots i am beraded with on a daily basis. i usually spend the few spare hours i have to m...
Posted by tiffers on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

fighting words: the think tank

here you go, please go my thoughts, rerouted
Posted by tiffers on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

served

so it seems that the west philly urban outfitters got served a hefty dose of grand larceny on saturday and sunday nights, respectively (and how else would it be...?). with over $10,000 worth of desig...
Posted by tiffers on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST