I am into movies, Snowboarding, LaCrosse, I like playing video games, bowling, billiards, Partying with my friends, and hanging out.
I'd like to meet:
Everyone.... except bubba from the county jail (I hear he is big)Chuck Norris
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Music:
Anything...not a big fan of country. My faves are Nirvana, Sublime, The Pixies (my alltime favorites), Tool, Eminem, Snoop, Beethoven, Blink-182, and No Doubt
Movies:
That is sooo hard. My favs are Anchorman, Sin City, Hostel, WAITING, Wedding Crashers, 40 Year Old Virgin, Donnie Darko, The Girl Next Door, Old School, Road Trip, Willow, The Neverending Story, Haggard, Tromeo and Juliet, Braveheart, American History X, Scarface, Fight Club, The Wizard of Oz, Clerks, Mallrats, CKY, Empire Records, Austin Powers, anything by Stanley Kubrick, Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith, and Tim Burton.
Television:
My favorite show was Viva la Bam, then Southpark, ATHF, The Simpsons, Friends, That 70's Show, Robot Chicken, and thats about it.
Books:
I am currently reading a biography on Salvador Dali the painter, and my favorite books are Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles/Witch Chronicles.
Heroes:
Bam Margera, My Mom and Dad, my grandpa's, and you better believe I am my own hero... sometimes
Get this video and more at MySpace.com
