s.

sex, drugs, rock and roll.

talking cheaper than a rock and roll love song.

thinly veiled blatancy.

times two.

stealthy with our psychosis.

morally repugnant.

plummeting to hell.

I think I'll go message him now, giving him ample time to ignore me.

he'll be my crucified jesus.

happy new t=years.

16 bottles.

stop thinking about him!

(whether your eyes are closed or not.)

theres no pool here, matt.

did you just say beacon plumbing?

you say tomato, I say vase.

the planetary love.

true love.

I wonder what his record collection looks like.

zebra bastard zebra zebra zebra zebra fucker hummingbirdwhacker.

THE GOOD:aim[with nearly constant away messages], Allysa Aguisanda, alphabetical order, animal rights, any fun make up, any nice fun-loving rock stars, any road trips, alcoholics, assholes, bands, band dudes, bathrooms with two exits[providing a quick escape from furious girlfriends!], basements, beer, being compulsive, being creepy, being self-destructive, being spontaneous, being teased playfully, being the nice-sweet girl that I am, being vegan, berlin, biting, black hair, blowing all my money on a fun night out, boozing, boys, broken-hearts[funny how they follow each other eh?], bruises, butch walker, buying people things, california, calling into work, cheap beer, cheaters, chicago, Christine Munn ,cigarette smoke, concerts, crushes, crying, cute rocker boys, cutting my hair, cutting up my clothes, Daniele Taska, dark eyes, dark hair, depressing music, dictionary.com, dreaming, dreaming of living somewhere else, dresses, drinking, drinking alone, drinking to forget, drinking too much, driving, drunken rhetoric, drunk sex, Dylan[my nephew], eyes, eyeliner, fake flowers, fashion, feeling, friends, fun makeup, going out, going to shows, good food, good hair, good kissing, google.com, getting what[and who] I want, good sex, green eyes, green tea, hair products, hair-pulling, having something to do, hating, hating boys, hating girls, high heels, hot hair, hugging, iced coffee, iced-sugar free-vanilla-soy-lattes, jesse malin and band[circa 2004-2005], journals, kissing, kitten heels, late nights, laughing 'til it hurts, leaving without saying goodbye, lies, lips, lips stained with red wine, lip gloss, liquor, listening, listening to the same song over and over, long conversations, long island ice tea, Los Angeles, loud music, love, lust, lying, lyrics, meaningless sex, meeting new people, mixed drinks, mix-tapes/cds, movies, music, musicians, my bed, my best friends, my brother, my father, my job, my kids at my previous job, my pillows, my sanity, Mystie Jean Chamberlin, new wave, new york city, nostalgia, not being lonely, not falling[in love, on pavement..take it as you will], not thinking, not working, obsessions, obsessive compulsions, olcotts hotel, parties, partying, passion, paying, pearl-button sweaters, phonecalls, photography, pretty boys, pretty clothes, procrastinating, punk rock, reading, red wine, road trips, rock stars, sarcasm, saving everything thats ever meant anything to me, scarves, Seattle, self-deprecation, sex, shock nagasaki, shoes, shows, sincere compliments, skirts, sleeping alone, sleeping in, sleeping over, sluts, smoking with Christine, social drinking, spending large sums of money to be let down, stalking, stilettos, style, sugarcult, swearing, symmetry, taking pictures, talent, tattoos, tea, tequila, the 80s, the internet, the tower, the ultimates the unexpected, thinking this time will be different, thrift shops, tight jeans, tofu, train rides, traveling, Trevor James Backer, vintage stores, vodka, water, weed, willy wonka, whiskey, wine, words, writing...

THE BAD: "but I thought that this meant something more than broken hearts and new addictions."...annoying pieces of shit, arrogance, assholes, bad grammar, bad kissers, bad moods, bad spelling, bad sex, BAC of .40, band dudes, being asked to lie to save his latest relationship, being broke, being down, being home and left to my own devices, being full, being late, being left in Ithaca, being let down repeatedly, berlin, bitches, broken hearts, boys, busy signals, calling people, central new york, cleaning, cocky mother fuckers, confusion, crying, dairy, dirt, dirty whores, drama, drinking, drinking so much I can’t remember anything, dryspells, douchebags, emergency rooms, ex-girlfriends, falling, falling into old habits, firetrucks, George Bush, getting lost, girls, girlfriends, hang-overs, heart-breakers, her, hick bars, him, hitting my face on pavement, hoboken, hypocrites, ignorant people, injuries, internet slang, jealously, judgmental people, juice, lame people, leaving random articles of clothing at peoples houses when I've been drinking, liars, long train rides, losing, losing money, love, malls, me, meat, messes, missing the show, money, morons, my boss, my job, myspace, needy people, nostalgia, nothing to do, not remembering, not sleeping, people, people on myspace, oneida, reclusive fucks, republicans, self-righteous, shit talkers, sluts, small-town gossip, small-minded bitches, soda, spending large sums of money to be let down, St. Marys hospital, staying in, stupid cunts, stupid people[I have little tolerance for them.], talking on the phone, tequila, the internet, thinking this time will be different, trevor james backer unwillingness to come out to central NY when he has to work, typical boys, typical girls, ugly people, waiting, wanting, weekdays, white trash, whores, wondering, work, writers block, you