noel

watch the video on my general section. if that shit doesn't touch you then you're as cold as ice. you're dry ice. (view with volume turned off... unless you like aerosmith and that awful song which everytime i hear it reminds me of Armageddon, a piece of shit film...) with that said... to kick start this biatch, I am full Korean (i think... don't really know my biological dad... who knows what he is...) and yes, that means i'm predisposed to drink a lot, squat while i smoke and spit a lot on the ground... also, I'm destined to own a) a liquor store b) dry cleaning c) coin laundry d) swapmeet. I am: a lazy workaholic, sober alcoholic, i say what's on my mind but mind what i say, proficient drunk driver. sports or sex... iono... who's playing? can we have sex at half time? wait, it's overtime. i like shoes. i like clothes. yes, im like a chick. but am not... my arms are smooth like a baby's bottom. and for the 900th time, I do not shave or wax my arm. forget about it. do not be jealous. i love music. i love movies. i love movies about music. i like movies based on books cuz i don't have to read and i basically finish the book in about 2 hours. all or nothing... no compromise. compromise and that means you've lost. someone i once loved once told me i love to argue. perhaps she's right. no she's wrong, if she's right then i've just lost. just for the sake of arguing i'm going to declare that i don't like to argue. cap'n crunch = best cereal in the world and in the history of things drowning in milk. and it's CAP'N crunch, not captain crunch. there is no captain. it's some hobo dressed as a captain. but he's no captain. he's cap'n! what would the world be without dr. pepper... in a can. makes a world a better place. coke > pepsi any day of the week. i like dark ale, handful tits > tits the size of my head or bigger. attention deprived people are disliked. also disliked are people who aren't smarter than i am but think they are... and try to sneak bullshit over me... you know who you are... stop it. you're insulting my intelligence. i don't like that. cheap people ruin it for everyone. so do shady bored cops. but i also know cool cops. cops who DUI and even offer me a swig of their flask full of Jameson Whiskey in the parking lot... Irish Whiskeys are yum. So are Irish girls. oops. racism... can't deny it. just embrace it and stfu. besides, stereotypical jokes are hilarious because most are true... don't be offended. my mom says, "rock the door" when telling me to "lock" the door. but i know exactly what she means, cuz i am that cool. i love my mom. if anyone wrongs her, i'll kill him/her without a blink. that's not a threat, that's a promise. that sounded like a cheesy revenge film line... Jean Claude Van Dame and Steven Segal (changes to this wish: jean claude van dame, steven segal, sylvester stallone, governator, dolph lundgren, lorenzo lama) must do a movie together before anyone of them dies. If i had the money i'd finance it. what a disaster of a film. I hate asian drivers, white drivers, hispanic drivers, black drivers... i hate everyone on the road except me. everyone should drive like me. loyal to my friends. they know that. that's all that matters. nice 75 degree day, window slightly cracked, lit parliament, elliott smith on the stereo, down PCH sounds like the perfect moment. if you don't know of the great late elliott smith, then you're a fool. one of the best musicians of our generation. he'll get you through any hardship. lactose intolerant. self-diagnosed OCD. i bartend. it's fun. i get to drink on the job. can't beat that. i'd work for booze but i need the money. yes, i have a problem. no it's not alcoholism. i just have a problem. i'm not disclosing it. i want to live with a musician. she would sing to me. i would help write song lyrics. we could put our own inside joke that no one would get in a song. yes, i stole the from High Fidelity. but only because that's what i want too. megan fox.(i have learned that she has a case of a gorilla thumb... so she is now scrapped... and just saw Keira Knightley on Conan... she's back on!) ((update: gorilla thumb or not, Megan Fox reclaims the throne)) Megan Fox... Megan Fox... Megan Fox...