I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros profile picture

I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros

Look ladies. It's horses...on a beach. You're welcome.

About Me

I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. ____________________________________________________________ __..

U.S. is not US
And US is not WE
And WE are not satisfied

My Interests


In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.

I'd like to meet:

My real parents.

..

Music:

Just for interest's sake here's a couple bands I have been listening to - I'll start w/ a few and just keep adding on to list as time passes:

She Wants Revenge,
Matisyahu,
Flipsyde,
Nick Drake,
OK Go,
mewithoutYou,
Reliant K,
Shawn McDonald,
Dizzee Rascal,
The Streets,
Devics,
The Working Title,
The Subways,
Say Anything,
The Killers,
Kaiser Chiefs,
The Academy Is...,
Nine Black Alps,
The Duke Spirit,
Sergio Mendes "Timeless",
Snow Patrol,
Rock Kills Kid,
Pilate (now known as Pilot Speed),
Augustana,
Arctic Monkeys (good music - terrible performers),
Mat Kearney,
The Postal Service,
Imogen Heap,
Frou Frou,
Ladytron,
Dresden Dolls,
Babyshambles,
Regina Spektor,
hellogoodbye,
Hot Hot Heat,
Motion City Soundtrack,
Art Brut,
TV on the Radio,
Hinder,
30 Seconds To Mars,
The Decemberists,
The Avalanches,
The Format,
Emily Haines and The Soft Skeleton,
Damien Rice,
Cold War Kids,
Shiny Toy Guns,
Fishcherspooner,
The Comas,
Athlete,
The Honorary Title,
Eisley,
Mew,
The Blow,
Albert Hammond, Jr.,
The Kooks,
The Shins,
Young Love,
Sick Puppies,
The Almost,
OneRepublic,
The Features,
The Fratellis,
I'm From Barcelona,
Joshua Radin,
Feist,
The Like,
The Cinematics,
Phoenix,
Paolo Nutini,
Klaxons,
Elefant,
Forgive Durden,
Rilo Kiley,
M.I.A.
Hard-Fi,
Spoon,
Armor for Sleep,
New Atlantic,
Cat Power,
Bat For Lashes,
Yael Naim,
MGMT,
The National,
Jose Gonzalez,
Yeasayer,
Justice,
Menomena,
Beirut,
Small Sins,
Walter Meego,
Kate Nash,
YACHT,
Crystal Castles,
FLOBOTS,
Thao w/ the Get Down Stay Down,
Cut Copy,
The Ting Tings,
Atmosphere,
Santogold,
Black Kids,
Blitzen Trapper,
Architecture in Helsinki,
Girl Talk,
The Cool Kids

Movies:

Gigli and The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley

Television:


HERE IS A LIST OF MY FAV-OR-ITE TV SHOWS:
The Daily Show,
Lost,
The Sopranos,
Rome,
The Real World & Real World/Road Rules Challenges (they're like a bad train wreck),
The Office,
Scrubs,
South Park,
The Soup,
Huff,
Da Ali G Show,
Entourage,
Family Guy,
ATHF (AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE - Number 1 in da hood G),
Robot Chicken,
Moral Orel,
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!,
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia,
How I Met Your Mother,
Flight of the Concords,
and just about anything on the Al-Jazeera network

Books:

-"Jesus for President" by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw (Sounds a little hokie - I know - it's ANYTHING but);
-"Sex | God" by Rob Bell (if you haven't heard of it - it's not what you think);
-"Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell (a must read for absolutely everyone especially small minded Bible-banging Midwesterners);
-"Letters From A Skeptic" by Dr. Gregory A. Boyd and Edward K. Boyd;
-"The Myth of a Christian Nation" by Gregory A. Boyd;
-"The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown (it's only 16 hours unabridged on 14 compact discs);
-"Relationships" by Drs Les and Leslie Parrott (covers the bases of all relationships and I would highly recommend it to absolutely anyone);
-"The Bible Code" I and II by Michael Drosnin (just incredibly interesting);
-"The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell (a great marketing book);
-"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger

Heroes:

Nick Naylor (Thank You For Smoking),
Ari Gold (Entourage),
Dr. Gregory House (House - of course),
and Alan Shore (Boston Legal)

- Yes, I know they aren't "real" people, just characters, but at least my heroes don't wear spandex or a cape.

My Blog

11 LAYERS OF CRUNCHY GOODNESS

------------------------------------------------------------ - LAYER ONE: Spell your name with animals: H -O -W -I -E - Animals can't spell dummy! Except maybe that damn Phonics Monkey. ---------------...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 07:16:00 PST

'Twas The Night Before Christmas (Legal Version) - You've been lawyered!

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 12:46:00 PST

Mother Knows Best

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out o...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 11:39:00 PST

8 Important Lessons Learned from '80s Cartoons

I'd like to point out that I'm aware of the fact that some of the cartoons listed below did not originate in the '80s. However, they were on during the '80s, that's when we watched them, so they'...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 08:56:00 PST

Guys Just Can't Win...

If you work too hard, there is never enough time for her.If you don't work hard enough, you're a good-for-nothing-bum. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.If she makes a...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 10:11:00 PST

You've got to love kids who are quicker and more intelligent than adults...

LITTLE JOHNNY ON PHILOSOPHY: A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they w...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Fri, 12 May 2006 03:42:00 PST

The Immaturist's Guide to Birdwatching

The Immaturist's Guide to Birdwatching Swallow(Hirundininae) The Swallow is a favorite among males in the bird kingdom (as compared to the Swallow's less desirable cousins "The Spitter" and "The ...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Thu, 11 May 2006 01:50:00 PST

The New Pledge...

I Pledge (if I am emotionally so inclined, but otherwise make no commitment whatsoever) Allegiance (or if not, at least a passing interest in) to the Cloth Symbol (known by most but not necessarily my...
Posted by I'm The Mutha Flippin' Rhymenoceros on Fri, 05 May 2006 02:10:00 PST