Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS profile picture

Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


Recently a nation-wide panel of NASA scientists concluded that I'm "One of the baddest mother-fuckers of all time". I guarantee I'm smarter than you, its likely that I'm funnier than you, and in 2005 I was People Magazines 51st sexiest man alive. My name is Ryan Hamilton aka Hambone aka The Great Hambonium; although in some circles im also known as Ryno, Rip, Tallcan, Switch, Stingray, The Slipper Kid, El Diablo Blanco, or Turd Ferguson...and there are a very select few who may know me as D to the P, or El Donko Puncherello, which is neither here nor there. Aside from having more aliases than Satan himself to keep the po-lice off my nutz, I am a college graduate in the field of business finance, equipped by California State University Fresno with the type of real world and industry knowledge to assure me of a mid level job with little hope of advancement or potential for any sort of self satisfaction for the next decade of my life; so needless to say, I have chosen not to pursue a career in my given field of expertise. I am currently ¼ of FLYBOYS Promotions, specializing in throwing the hottest events at clubs here in the Modesto area so be sure to look out for our next event April, 4 at FATCAT...OPEN BAR FROM 9-10:30; and don't forget you can also check out our Lazer Kids events every Thursday night at Aqua Shi!Switch poolside at Mandalay Bay with Maggsme, fiddy-clint, pook, and the future broseph in law on thanksgibin

My Interests

My dream is to be a writer (short stories, satire), I love throwing parties/promoting, drinking beer...preferably icy cold delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon, listening to music, the Oakland A's, baseball in general, dominoes, wiffleball, fashion, shoes especially Nike dunks/court forces, keepin it gangsta, tanquaray, seagrams whiskey,jagermeister, guiness draught, steak (medium rare), beef-jerkey, wings-n-things, foosball, pool, riding my bikes the red dragon and the stingray, and basically anything else that doesnt take effort/money.

Yessir, A's been poppin collars and jackin slacks from '83 till infinity!

I'd like to meet:

John McClain right before he shoots Rocky. Brodie from Point Break. Slug from Atmosphere (ala Lucy Ford) because he is the sort of self-loathing pessimist that i can relate to. Here is an example of one of the many of his quotes that sum up a great deal of my life: "From Anne Landers to Ani Defranco to Orphan Annie, I Love all women, but most of 'em just cant stand me...". Oakland A's GM Billy Beane, who has constructed your 2007 world series champions, I'd like to reintroduce myself to Dane Cook while assuming my true Christian name, because after meeting me under an alias in a dive bar at 4am in Tiajuana Mexico several years ago with a bottle of whiskey, some ether, a tub of 'I cant believe its not butter', a wiffle ball bat, and seeing the things I did to the 2 TJ hookers we picked up, (of which under the advice of my attorney, Jon Labrum, I should not post here for fear of future legal ramifications, as well as damage to my character that will likely be brought up by the incumbent senator, who shall remain nameless, that I plan to run against in the near future), he coined the term "B.A.M.F." in my honor [Please note I wrote this section several years ago when Dane Cook was still funny, but decided to leave it up regardless...its all about Daniel Tosh now!]. Chuck Norris for telling the kid from the 6th Sense that he has AIDs...and Homer Simpson, if you cant figure this one out then youre dumber than you lookAqua Shi white party: Scwhit and me lookin way too clean in the white loafers...and we wear our stunner glasses at night!

Music:

me gusta mi reagea, me gusta punk rock, pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita. no sir man im a rocker through and through! heres my favorite bands: AC/DC, skynard, van halen -not van hagar, def-lep....deftones are the fav, the expendables , sublime, slightly stoooopid, pepper, bargain music, 311, led zepplin, i like alice in chains way better than nirvana, bob marley, louie armstrong, frank sinatra, eek-a-mouse, lbdas, radiohead, the mars volta/sparta/atdi, tenacious D, system, rage, pennywise, authority zero, bloc party, bad religion, grandaddy, people under the stairs are prolly the illest, living legends, old E-40 Fonserelli way before he was hyphy....atmosphere, hiero, lyrics born+lateef the truthspeaker=latyrx, gift of gab and the whole quannum crew, RjD2, zion I, immortal technique, tribe quest, ugly duckling, c-lo green the soul machine, mf doom, danger mouse, rza/gza/ghostface, kanye, lupe, some freestyle fellowship, a little bit of sage francis once in a while, def jux in small dosesReservoir Dogs representin'

Movies:

Joe Dirte' reporting for work. Dont try to church it up son, dont you mean DIRT? the big lebowski, reservoir dogs, and office space are the only four movies i have ever seen...but also anything associated with quinton terintino, john favreau/vince vaughn, kevin smith...snoogins!, my stunt double edward norton, guy ritchie (swept away was way harsh), hobbits, jack black, napoleon dyno-mite!, the GOAT christopher walken...and god himself John McClain.

Television:

simpsons, law and order, family guy, sealab 2021, aqua teen hunger force, home movies, venture brothers (basically all of adult swim is heat) sportscenter, baseball tonight, A's games, chappelle show, nip/tuck, entourage is maybe the best show ever, rescue me, the office, my name is earl, always sunny in philidelphia, the daily show and colbert report, conan... anything on the lifetime network, gilmore girls, the view....But seriously, is this for real right now?!?!

Books:

the republic by plato will change your life...prolly not but it should you republican scumbag jerk-offs!!! money-ball cause billy beane is my boy. Does playboy count?...oh yeah, im in the middle of a tale of two cities...just me or the most boring book ever?!?!

Me, Pops, and Cliff drinking the sweet ambrosia!

Heroes:

Brian 'El Diablo Blanco' Lowe for bein a sucker and joining the Navy so he could kill him some 'Ghanies, homer simpson, the guy who invented pabst blue ribbon, doc holiday (as portayed by val kilmer in tombstone), the big hurt frank thomas, babe ruth, joe dirt, the dude/duder/his dudeness/or el duderino if you are into that whole brevity thing, coach mcguirk, ben sanderson from leaving las vegas, frank the tank/ron burgandy/chaz reinhold, and most importantly my mom and pook and gary...i love you guys - oh yeah, and moleman from the simpsons....fuckin moleman.. You wish your city had a sign this B.A.

My Blog

Dead Australians

I've already been asked, and I know what you're all thinking, and no I'm not planning on being Heath Ledger for Halloween&as if my costume selection depended solely on the most recently deceased Austr...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:13:00 PST

Trans-continental pessimism

Its hard to imagine, but I have been back in America for two months now, and after a brief period of reflection, I have come to realize that my life is exactly the same as it was the day I left Au...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:07:00 PST

my pessimisn knows no bounds (my life in australia, month 2)

would you like know what the best part of my day is? waking up knowing that i am unemployed, and that with every sip of each pint consumed, i am $6 closer to having to purchase a plane ticket back to ...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 06:24:00 PST

first month in australia (the worst blog i have ever written)

its been a month for us here in australia, and although as you could tell from the video tour of our apartment in melbourne that we were living like kings, we decided to sacrafice our lavish lifestly...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Thu, 04 Oct 2007 10:47:00 PST

my first week living in australia

its been a week since i moved to australia, and things are much different than i had expected them to be. i have come to realize that repeatedly studying my copy of crocodile dundee on ...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 12:16:00 PST

i am a product of the worst city in america

i was somewhat apprehensive about moving back to modesto after graduation; especially considering that the town i would be calling home had at the time just been dubbed "the worst city in america" by ...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 11:27:00 PST

my name is ryan, and i have an addiction.

while i should be relishing the most extraordinary summer of my life, the same summer the is but a pre-script to the most monumental move that i am ever likely to undertake, i instead find myself sick...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 11:31:00 PST

im bout to run australian print media like rupert effin murdoch!

..> as many of you know, i plan on moving to australia at the end of this summer, where i intend on beggining my career as a writer. i assume that the transition to my new career will be rath...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:06:00 PST

amendment #2

D'ann is also exempt from any previous statement regarding Asians, Japanese or otherwise. As we all know, she is hella "sexual"; and while i did not explicitly state so, the fact that we are both teac...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 03:33:00 PST

Amendment to "Asian" blog

It has been brought to my attention that I may have offended certain groups of Asians in a previous blog, that were not quite deserving of my verbal onslaught. Henceforth, only Asi...
Posted by Ryan Hamilton of FLYBOYS on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 10:20:00 PST