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INITIALLY KNOWN AS THE QUARRYMEN, FITH MEMBER STUART SUTCLIFFE LEFT AFTER A SHORT TOUR OF GERMANY. SO SHORT IT ENCOMPASSED ONLY ONE CELLAR IN HAMBURG. ANYWAY HE STAYED THERE WITH A CHICK CALLED ASTRID, AND THEN SADLY DIED. FOURTH MEMBER PETE BEST WAS BOOTED FOR BEING NAFF. PETE WORST WE CALLED HIM. HE WAS REPLACED BY MEMBER 4(a) - AFFABLE RINGO - WHOM WE LOST TO A TALKING TOY TRAIN AND HIS FRIENDS. NIGHT, NIGHT RINGO. THIRD MEMBER GEORGE DISAPPEARED IN A PUFF OF, WELL, PUFF, LEAVING ONLY A SITAR, A JOSS STICK HOLDER, A LUCRATIVE BACK CATALOGUE AND BOB DYLANS PHONE NUMBER (HE NEVER ANSWERS). AND SO IT CAME TO PASS THAT THERE WERE TWO.......THE ONE KNOWN AS LENNON AND THE ONE KNOWN AS MCCARTNEY. THE 60'S STOOD ON IT'S HEAD AND BECAME THE 90'S, THE DAWN OF A NEW MILLENIUM BROKE AND OUR HEROES FINALLY MET 4 REAL WHILST BATTLING DRAGONS, EVIL DOERS AND BEN ELTON (SPIT, SPIT) ON THE CORNER OF OXFORD STREET AND CHARING CROSS ROAD IN SUNNY LONDON. IT WAS DARK. THEY WERE HANDING OUT FLYERS FOR A CLUB CALLED RUBBISH, OR GARBAGE OR, UM, HANG ON - TRASH! THAT'S IT. ANYHOO.... THEY HAD HEADPHONES. 'I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND' SAID ONE. 'GOO GOO GA CHOO' SAID THE OTHER. ......THEIR STORY IS IMPROBABLE, FANTASTIC, YET STRANGELY FALSE. READ ON:::::::::::::::::::L+M= F+J = TWO WORKSHY BASTARDS SHUT IN A ROOM FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG, SMOKING, WITH EVERYTHING WIRED INTO EVERYTHING ELSE AND NOTHING TO LOSE SAVE THE RIGHT TO RESIDE IN A FLAT THEY HAVEN'T PAID RENT ON IN MONTHS AND MONTHS, WHO EVENTUALLY, LIKE YEA MANY MONKEYS ON AN AKAI DPS12, CAME UP WITH WIERD SHIT LIKE THIS....
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