Dear Diary,The women they love me. It is so true. One look from me and they lose their minds. They yell and scream and chase me around the shopping mall. I hire big men with guns to keep them away, so they do not tear me to shreds. At the appearance today, the mall manager told me to keep my shirt on but I am Fabio, am I not? I take it off and the women go insane. The little ones are being crushed against the stage. Women fainted and were carried over the crowd to the doctors. Women pushed so much that the whole thing was called off. My bodyguards worked for their money today.My agent said it was a success. It was huge. "Hard Copy" was there. The producer loved it when the women went insane. He got many pictures of them pushing, yelling, screaming. My agents says we have to visit a girl who got stepped on when the women went insane. She got her leg broke and is in the hospital. She wants an autographed calendar. "Hard Copy" will take pictures of me visiting her.Wait until they read my autobiography--the writer is almost done. My agent has to talk to him some more. When they read about my life the women will understand. Now, they love me but do not understand. I am so misunderstood. Like today, someone hands me this thing. He said it was a phone but it had no cord, had no buttons. It was a thing. But then he opens this piece and there are buttons and it is a phone, even if it doesn't have a cord. I call Mama.When they read my autobiography they will understand. And then the women will go more insane. I will be elected President of the World. It is so true.
