KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a pretty simple person (no not stupid simple, wise asses). What I mean is it doesn't take much to make me happy its the little things in life: midgets (had go with that first, you know the whole little things thing), sex, sleeping in, naps (ok anything involving a bed), Taco Bell, farts (Taco Hell and farts go hand in hand or butt on bowl which ever), black jokes, someone falling down, adult beverages, laughing so hard you cry or pee, family, friends, and a hot bath while listening to a Kenny G CD!Basically the way I look at life is whatevers going on in it there is always room for some fun and laughter. When God hands you lemons make lemonade; no fuck that cut them up and put them in a Corona! Yeah thats the ticket!I also like declaring shenaniganz whenever possible!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11 Things to ponder: 1.When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there staring at it's carpeting? 2.Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? 3.Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? 4.Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? 5.Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with? 6.Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 7.If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players? 8.Why don't you ever see baby pigeons? 9.Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? 10.When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butts? 11.Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
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My Interests

Naps, Sex, Eating, making people laugh, channel surfing, playing sports and Boozing! Gotta stick with what your good at...

I'd like to meet:

My Daddy... Sike! Tyler Durden, Mr. T, beck, Dennis Rodman, Chewbacca, Yoda, Jay and Silent Bob, John Force, Brittany Murphy, Frank White, Stephen Lynch, Stewie Griffin, Kevin James, Peter Scolari (the other guy from Bosom Buddies), Alf, Robert Schimmel, BAM, Slash, Seth Macfarlane, Curious George, Mr. Labowski "The DUDE", Bucket Head, Bob Ross (the painter dude "happy little trees"), Milli or Villini (which ever one didn't kill himself), MC Escher, Andrew Ridgeley (the other dude from Wham, Why? Why not!), The Jersey Devil, and YOUR MOM...

Music:

80's hair bands, old school rap, Rock (new & classic), club (from back in the early "E" days like DJ YOURI), Some new rap (i guess that would be new school), Porno Music (bount chicha bount boow). I hate country, ghetto rap, hippy shit, Kids music, and x-mas music.
Funny MySpace Comments

Animations - Animated Graphics for Myspace, Hi5, Orkut

Myspace Comments, Hi5 & Friendster graphics: CoolMyspaceComments.com

Movies:

MySpace Icons Fear and Loathing, Dazed and Confused, Caddyshack, Billy Madison, Bad Boys 2, Big Labowski, Porn (DO NOT WATCH "YOU GOT MAIL... GENITALIA ), Old School, Tommy Boy, Boondock Saints, Super Troopers, Buying the Cow, Napoleon Dynamite, Fletch, Good Fellas, Van Wilder, Zoolander, Spaceballs, just to name a few.

Television:

Family Guy, Rob and Big, CSI, Law and Order, Comedy Channel, Cheers, M.A.S.H, Friends, News, Simpsons, South Park PICKEL GIRL

Books:

Any book that I can make it past the first chapter and still be interested... Fear and Loathing, Tommyland, Moby Dick, Couplehood (Paul Reiser it's actually funny)

Heroes:

Midgets & Rick James Bitch!

My Blog

Jersey / Philly-isms 2

THESE NEVER GET OLD... 1] its always philly not philadelphia and jersey not new jersey2] youve never actually been to the liberty bell except for a class trip3] your idea of a fun night is just walki...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Mon, 24 Dec 2007 08:40:00 PST

Sloganize yourself

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi This is kinda funny especially if your nickname is boner... Boner, is it in you? Would You Give Someone Your Last Boner? A Smooth-Running Boner is a Relaxing...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 09:34:00 PST

Jersey/Philly-isms

1] its always philly not philadelphia and jersey not new jersey2] youve never actually been to the liberty bell except for a class trip3] your idea of a fun night is just walkin around with your frien...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 08:51:00 PST

There are friends and then there are friends from NEW JERSEY!

FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunkNEW JERSEY FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught------------------------------------------------------ ---FRIENDS: Call yo...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 08:35:00 PST

funny porn movie names

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA TEA BAGGER VANCE MOULIN SPLOOGE 21 Hump Street You got male genitalia Schindler's Fist Shaving Ryan's Privates Sorest Rump American Booty Pulp Friction Saturday Night Bea...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Sun, 12 Nov 2006 02:40:00 PST

FUNNY Confucious Sayings!!!

Better to be pi$$ed off than pi$$ed on. Man who keep feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants.Man who run behind car get exhausted.Woman who wear wonderbra make mountains out of molehil...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 09:46:00 PST

CONFUCIUS SAYS...

Confucius Says ...Man who stand on toilet high on pot.Man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.Man who run behind car get exhausted.Virgin just like balloon ... one prick, all gone.Secretary not per...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 10:37:00 PST

THINGS I WANT

1. I want my own midget. 2. I want to start an all mexican jam band called Widespread Hispanic . 3. I want to build a home and have my own street to myself and name it Supple Teat Steet. ...
Posted by KEVIN "BONER" 8====D >>> on Fri, 04 Aug 2006 10:56:00 PST