Madison

I'd like to meet:

The true Muslim woman

She is of good character (has a good attitude towards others) and is sincere and straightforward with all people. She does not cheat, deceive or stab in the back. She is not a hypocrite. She does not speak falsely (or bear false witness). She offers sincere advice and guides others to good deeds. She keeps her promises. She has the characteristic of modesty and self-respect. She does not interfere in that which does not concern her. She avoids slandering the honor of others and seeking out their faults. She does not show off. She is fair in her judgments of others. She does not oppress others. She is fair even to those whom she does not like. She does not rejoice in the misfortunes of others.

She avoids suspicion. She restrains her tongue from malicious gossip. She avoids cursing and obscene speech. She does not make fun of anybody. She is gentle with people. She is compassionate. She strives to benefit others and protect them from harm. She eases the hardship of one who is suffering. She is generous. She does not remind the beneficiaries of her charity. She is patient. She is tolerant. She does not bear grudges or harbor resentment. She is easy-going, not harsh. She is not envious. She avoids boasting and showing off. She does not speak in an affected or exaggerated manner. She has a likeable personality. She is friendly and likeable. She keeps secrets. She is of cheerful countenance. She has a sense of humor. She tries to make people happy. She is not over-strict. She is not arrogant.

She is humble. She is modest in her dress and appearance. She pursues noble things. She is concerned about the affairs of the Muslims. She honors guests. She prefers others to herself. She measures her habits and customs against the standards of Islam. She uses the greeting of Islam. She does not enter any house other than her own without permission. She sits wherever she finds room in a gathering. She does not converse privately with another woman when a third is present. She respects her elders and distinguished people. She does not look into any house other than her own. She chooses work that suits her feminine nature. She does not imitate men. She calls others to the truth. She enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil. She is wise and eloquent in her da..wah. She mixes with righteous women. She hastens to reconcile between Muslim women. She mixes with women and puts up with their insults. She appreciates favors and is grateful for them. She visits the sick. She does not attend funerals.

Her main concern is the pleasure of Allah (SWT)

The true Muslim woman always seeks to earn the pleasure of Allah (SWT) in everything she does. So she measures everything against this precise standard, and will retain or discard any practice accordingly.

Whenever there is a conflict between what pleases Allah (SWT), and what pleases other people, she chooses what pleases Allah (SWT), with no hesitation or argument, even if it will anger other people. She does this because she knows, with her deep understanding of Islam and her own common sense, that pleasing the people is a goal that can never be achieved, and it will only bring about the wrath of Allah (SWT). The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah (SWT) at the risk of displeasing the people, Allah (SWT) will take care of him and protect him from them. But whoever seeks the pleasure of the people at the risk of displeasing Allah (SWT), Allah (SWT) will abandon him to the care of the people."

By weighing up her deeds in this precise fashion, the Straight Path will be clearly signposted for the Muslim woman. She will know what she is allowed to do and what she should avoid; her unfailing standard is the pleasure of Allah (SWT). Thus the life of the Muslim women will be free from ridiculous contradiction which have ensnared so many of those who have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT).

There are women whom one sees praying perfectly, but in many instances they follow their own desires and deviate from the right path. In social gatherings they involve themselves in gossip and backbiting, criticizing people, plotting against anybody they dislike, and putting words in their mouths so as to discredit them. These people are suffering from weakness of faith and a failure to understand the true reality of this holistic religion which Allah (SWT) revealed to guide mankind in all aspects of life, both public and private, so that people might seek the pleasure of Allah (SWT) by obeying His commands and emulating the behavior of the Prophet (PBUH).

There are also women who obey Allah (SWT) in some matters, but disobey Him in others, acting according to their own whims and desires. Such people are, as it were, half-Muslims, and the split personality of those who have deviated from the guidance of Islam is one of the most dangerous psychological and spiritual disorders facing modern man.

She understands the true meaning of being a servant of Allah (SWT). The true Muslim woman has the firm belief that she has been created to serve an important purpose in life, which Allah (SWT) has defined in the Qur'an. She does not go to extremes of beautification or make a wanton display of herself.

Paying attention to one's appearance should not make a Muslim woman fall into the trap of wanton display (tabarruj) and showing her beauty to anyone other than her husband and mahram relatives. She should not upset the balance which is the basis of all Islamic teaching, for the Muslim woman always aims at moderation in all things, and is on the alert to prevent any one aspect of her life from taking over at the expense of another.

She never forgets that Islam, which encourages her to look attractive within the permitted limits, is also the religion that warns her against going to such extremes that she becomes a slave to her appearance, as the hadith says:

"Wretched is the slave of the dinar, dirham and fancy clothes of velvet and silk! If he is given, he is pleased, and if he is not given, he is displeased."

Our women today, many of whom have been influenced by the international fashion houses to such an extent that a rich women will not wear an outfit more than once, have fallen into that slavery of which the Prophet (PBUH) warned and, as a result, they are trapped in the misery of that senseless enslavement to excessively luxurious clothing and accessories. Such women have deviated from the purpose for which humanity was created in this world.

One of the worst excesses that many modern Muslim women have fallen into is the habit of showing off expensive outfits at wedding parties, which have become fashion shows where competition is rife and is taken to extremes far beyond the realms of common sense and moderation.

This phenomenon becomes clearest when the bride herself wears all her outfits, which may number as many as ten, one after the other: each time she changes, she comes out and shows it off to the other women present, exactly like the fashion models in the West. It does not even occur to the women among whom this habit is common, that there may be women present who are financially unable to buy such outfits, and who may be feeling depressed and jealous, or even hostile towards the bride and her family, and other rich people. Nothing of this sort would happen if brides were more moderate, and just wore one or two outfits at their wedding parties. This is better than that extravagant showing-off which is contradictory to the balanced, moderate spirit of Islam.

No doubt the Muslim woman who has surrounded herself with the teachings of this great religion is spared and protected from such foolish errors, because she has adopted its principles of moderation.