I suppose it’s high time that I wrote something proper in this little segment rather than being a complete MySpace casualty and letting few quizzes do the talking – I can type adequately, I feel I should let that be known! Anyway, I am Tom, although over the years I have acquired a multitude of nicknames from myriad people – nicknames like Tombo, Jako, The Wisdom Brigadier, and so on. There’s been more, but I just can’t be arsed remembering them.
At the moment, until they get sick of me dropping bollocks at gigs and replace me with someone who has ten times my skill, I play bass for a band called The Words (www.myspace.om/thewordsmusic) and they are, definitively, the best band I’ve ever been in. We’re going places, and I’m hoping that it won’t be too long before we get there – I’m sick of going from week to week on a pittance! And yeah, I wanna play some mint gigs to as many people of as many nationalities as I can, and make people dance!
There are loadsa people who make an impact on my life at the moment, but I’ll only talk about a few. The first ‘un is my girlfriend Carly, who simply ‘rox my sox’ – as I frequently tell her as loudly as I can in as public a place as I can find, much to her embarrassment. She seems to think that my one aim in life is to embarrass her – she couldn’t be more wrong. I wanna make it with the band and just generally live it up as much as possible as well!
Someone else who is important enough to me to be allocated precious words from my mind (I usually can’t be arsed to write, but when I do, they’re invariably masterpieces of language) is Tamara – nicknamed by me Tamanra, and Tampax, by Neil from my band. She’s a complete leg-end! She’s well funny and also a bit spesh, but I love her all the same for it ‘cause she’s basically me with tits. Although some people would say I’ve got tits, so that observation is moot.
One of thems that says that I have tits is the next person who gets a description, and that would be the man, the legend, Luca! I’ve known him for about 5 years now, and he's a bit like the brother I never had. We’ve had our fallouts, but that’s hopefully all behind us now. We’re on the same wavelength entirely, in all aspects of chattage, but especially when it comes to taking the piss outta Andy – “Aren’t you on a diet? You should be!†Great times.
Worryingly, the next person is a girl again – so that’s 3 girls to 1 guy who get paragraphs. It really is a wonder I’m not gay at times. Anyway, this is for Vicky (Victoria, and especially so I can tell her that I’ve done this so that she reads it, MOOSE!) who I haven’t really known for all that long – we were in German together last year but we didn’t really start talking until college was about to finish for Summer, but this year, not only are we in German, but also English! So we just chat shit – well, I chat shit and she pisses herself laughing. She works in a pub that I went to visit her in when I could’ve been at home drinking for free, but I thought ‘Fuck it, I’ll go and keep her company’, ‘cause that’s the kind of guy I am.
Nextfully is a guy I've known for quite a considerable amount of time - he's been outta my life for a year and a bit now, and I missed him! Unfortunately, due to differences of college, we don't see each other nearly as often as we should, and there's also other factors that mean that most of my free time is spent doing work, working or banding it up yo. Anyway, this guy is Gnome, and I've known him for a considerable amount of time - indeed, he was the second main character in a story I wrote for my GCSE original writing, after myself, and was used in it as a metaphorical measuring stick - I gauged evry other characters' height against his, which in hindsight made the piece laborious to read.
There are a few people who I've only met this year at college, and have only really started talking to in the last couple of months, but who have quickly become good friends...and they are Pickford, Andy Slap Mack the Crackerman and Leo. Well, I actually met Leo last year, but we didn't really talk a lot. Anyway, we usually spend free periods at college sitting in the Death Tent smoking and doing/saying/filming weird things, and go out on the piss every now and then. I say every now and then, although at the moment it's more like every week...
Other people that deserve honourable mentions around these parts are, firstly, Lannage – she’s a proper nutcase I’ve known for the best part of 2 years now, and we just sit in form and laugh at bollocks all and get told off by Mr. F. Then there’s Neil, who’s already been mentioned, but he deserves it again just ‘cause he’s piss funny! And obsessed with naming at least one of our songs ‘How Can I Tell You I Love You When You’re Sat On My Face?’ Jenny and Dave from work get their names dropped too, just for being proper leg-ends – Jenny for being mint and funny and shiz and Dave for putting up with me coming on to him for a year now and not kicking my head in. And Paul should be here too, just because I love ‘im like th’other brother I never had, and ‘cause in the 6 years we’ve been mates, we’ve never fallen out once about anything, which for someone as petty as me is nigh on impossible.
And to all my other mates what I didn’t mention, don’t worry, you’re still all proper leg-ends, it’s just that my fingers are getting tired and I’m running out of things to say without repeating something I’ve said about someone else. But I still love you all, you mental bastards!
There is only really one more thing to say, and this is more for people who don’t know me at all. If we ever get talking, don’t think I’m the world’s most arrogant twat if I start going on about how fantastic I am, it’s just that I have an inexplicably over-inflated ego. Sorry.
Love Tom x x x
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