MC WickaVicka

I gots the mad beatz and sick rhymes. The ladies love my style. As do the bitches and hoes and probably yo' mom. You dig?
I'm ghetto to the core and baby, so much more. I'm the man of yo' dreams, just you ain't realized it yet. I'm so sex-ay I'd love myself if I could. And I do.

Bitches love me 'cause I'm sensitive, hoes love me 'cause I can relate. Bros only wish they was me. I love 'em too. The bitches and hoes, I mean.

I got a glock on me at all times, so you best get moving. I don't keep it loaded, but I could point it at you or somethin'. And you can't mess with me because my dad pays the cops to protect me especially.
I got a posse fo' my thug life and a 401 k plan fo' my thug retirement. Also, I know a black guy. So you best watch yo step.

I'm MC WickaVicka, and I'm the greatest rapper to come out of Irvine. Ever.

They told me to write a bio about myself. That's what the man said at least. The man, always tryin' to tell us what to do. The man, tryin' to keep the good people down! Down with the man, I always say! But, of course, he's in charge, so we gotsta listen to him. You dig?

I started my life as MC WickaVicka literally weeks ago. My friends, though, they always called me WickaVicka. Or they would have if I, you know, *had* any. But I was just too ghetto for the kids at private school.

I first fell in love with rap after I heard Nelly's soulful ballad of love and redemption, "Hot in Here." And I noticed-- this guy, "Nelly" as they call him, he was *talkin'.* That's all he was doin'. Just talkin' to music and beat and rythm, and suddenly there were all these girls sayin' they'd take off their clothes for him. And I thought to myself, hey! I can talk! And soon started my career.

Not right away, of course. I took a few days to listen to some of the bigger names in the rap biz. And I'm down with all the big guys, like TwoPack, Sean "Puffy" Combs, Nelly, Sisko, The Beasty Boy, Emmin' M, Puff Dady, Coolio, Biggie Smalls, P. Diddy, Vanilla Ice, and one or two others I guess. TwoPack is my man, though. He should write more, ya know?

Now I'm livin' the gangsta life. I've got a great place in the ghetto, my dad pays the rent fo' me, and I do nothin' but eat, sleep, and dream rap when I'm not playin' my XBox 360 or going quail hunting at my parents' estate.

I got mad beatz and sick rhymes. Hoes are sure to follow soon.

Peace out!