alexandra

much of this is true: i hail from hades; persephone is my second cousin once removed. i love my friends, especially the ones who remind me to get dressed before i go out. i have walked the earth for centuries, but everyone says i look 39 -- 41 tops. i know how to be a raving bitch, but it takes too much out of me. i love seinfeld reruns and things that go "moo." i'm big on brutal honesty, especially when it comes to nose hair. i like splenda in everything, the smell of flower shops, holding hands and inside jokes. i'm sober and there's nothing you can do about it. i want to travel to exotic lands, like iceland and luxembourg. i don't like being kept waiting more than 30 seconds unless someone's death is involved, preferably not mine. i am a social hermit. david letterman is my late-night comedy hero. i don't take things as personally as everyone thinks. i am a fantastic kisser (references available upon request). if i were a superhero, i'd dress my dog in a matching outfit. sex is always an option, but I watch cable porn for the intellectual stimulation. i most hate living alone when I run out of toilet paper while already seated. cheetos is (are?) the perfect depressed-white-trash food; if you see me with orange lips and fingertips, you can be certain i've been exorcising demons. i don't live at the beach because sand fleas give me the willies. i will love you madly when we're together and completely forget about you when we're apart. my favorite words are "lobster" and "kumquat."