Hello. My name is Bertis, but my friends call me Bertailia. Many people confuse me to be a man-boobed prostitute, but actually, I am sweet and kind-hearted on the inside. (But I do have man boobs, sadly, and yes, I am a prostitute.) I am 45 years old and my hobbies are reading, watching TV, and prostituting (as my specialty). I dropped out of school when I was 16 and I never went to college. But I do specialize in working with the foot departments. I am very intelligent. Many people tell me I am very handsome too, and ofcourse, I agree with them. I wish I had 6 pack abs and rock hard thys, but not all men are blessed with that. I believe in Jesus. Many people tell me its a sin to prostitute, but I know... I HAVE THAT FEELING... that I was sent here to prostitute because I AM very skilled in that... (says my girlfriends) I live in a trailor park down the street from Wal-Mart and I love hanging out there with my friends Johnny and Hamlet. They are my reason for living in this world. All day, and all night, I think about that. (I'm not gay). They love me, and I love them. They have been there for me through thick and thin. BBFs FOR LIFE! I think I'm bi-sexual because, I have an attraction to guys and girls. (so all ya ladies for fellasss out there, give me a call!!!) (i'm not giving out my number sadly) Well , if you wanna hang sometime... add me as a friend and maybe ill give ya a call. Okay. I love you so much . OMG PLEASE ADD ME. and more... i love eating. i CANT STAND fake girls when they act all prissy and gross. i absolutely hate that. like omg. I've had 5 boyfriends and 23 girlfriends in my past life. secretly, when i was with my ex girlfriend VERONICA, i was secretly cheating on her with my other boyfriend, AUGUSTUS. i have always felt guilt in the pit of my stomach. I love shopping at the mall. Abercrombie the best. I can fit into the xxxl but i sometimes try to fit into the xxl. i also enjoy shopping at wal-mart. I GET TO MEET OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ME. I love meeting sexual people. i have a very sexual appetite and i have to HAVE IT 3 times a day. but 5 extra times will work. :). teehee! i have a pet bird named tweetis. He is red and green. he enjoys pecking at my nipples. he can fit between my man clevage too. it is so fun to play with him. i feed him anything he wants. cupcakes, mashed potatos, cookies, candy, chocolate, and buscuits, MY BUISCUITS. i paint my nails on a regular basis. pink on sundays, purple on mondays, black on tuesdays, red on wednesdays, brown on thursdays, sparkles on fridays, and SATURDAYS, i mix. it just depends on my mood. i enjoy eating, but i made up my own recipe. JIGGOLO. i eat breakfast brunch lunch, jiggalo, snacks, dinner, supper. sometimes, i might excercise though. i take a walk to the mailbox and back. SUCH an excercise. but most the time, i have my bird do it. he is very excited to. he gets to peck the mail deliverer guys nipples. i work at the mall. i give foot massages, and paint their nails. i usually specialize in pedicures, because i have an absolute fedish for feet. they turn me on. i once raped a man. he was sexy. he said no but i declined. i wanted him. OH YES. i have a confession. im mostly interested in guys, but if its mariah carey or pamela anderson, or someone who looks like them, i would go for them. those little hotties. i love them. i often sing in the shower. i sing opera and old folk songs. they entertain me and i can express my feelings. another way to express my feelings is by poetry. i write poetry daily. ill tell you one of my poems.hi im bertis
i am fine
you are hot
now you're mine
i wish i could rule
all of the world
i would get the guys
and get the girls
i am sweet
i am sour
i do like to sing
but mostly in the shower
i am not fat
im just big boned
i eat alot
when i get home
i miss my pappy
he was so fine
i also missed
when he slapped my behind
i excercise daily
on a regular basis
im not homophobic
i love my gay sis
hello my name is bertis
i love you so much
your dream is to marry
a guy so fetch
so maybe you should call me
and get together
then we can live
together forever
Love, Bertis
