Being a closet paranoid schizophrenic I have decided to put as little personally identifiable information on this wretched website. Its not because I'm concerned about you knowing this info, but rather the federal data-mining agencies trying to finger me for crimes I may or may not have committed (just kidding! ...or am I?). If you are really dying to know more about me I've written this brief biography just for you:
At his birth, Sterling's mother was reputedly frightened that her infant's head was so large and oddly shaped. Though the size of his head appeared to be less remarkable as he grew older, it's evident from photographs of Sterling that his head was disproportionately large for his body throughout his life, a trait regarded as "benign macrocephaly" in large-headed individuals with no related disease or cognitive deficits. His parents also worried about his intellectual development as a child due to his initial language delay and his lack of bladder control until the age of nine, though he was one of the top students in his elementary school.
Sterling was brought up in the Branch Davidian church until a dispute, in the spring of 1993, between the Branch Davidians' and the U.S. Government forced him to reevaluate his life and convert to Scientology.
At age 18, he met his spouse, Helen Herron, in Cincinnati; she and Sterling courted while he was away at college. Helen died tragically in Sterling's arms after suffering an extreme case of botulism. The botulism was traced to a major Canadian Pizza chain; who, after much litigation, paid Sterling a large undisclosed sum of money not to mention their name to the press.
The death of his wife made a indelible emotional scar on Sterling. He vowed revenge on Canada, the country who's substandard food regulations led to the death of his beloved.
Laughed at, and belittled by his peers for his strange vengeance, Sterling decided it was time to take action. Sterling proposed in front of the U.S. Congress an invasion of Canada, and asked for $100M and a small battalion of soldiers to carry out his goal. The laughter in Congress could not be supressed for days.
By then, Sterling was embittered and resentful toward Congress for not approving his 'wartime' expenses. He threw himself into the social life of the city, hosting grand parties and falling deeply into debt. Sterling's extravagance drew him into shady financial schemes and into further disrepute with Congress, which investigated his accounts. On June 1, 1999, he was indicted for malfeasance. "Having - become a cripple of my country, I little expected to meet [such] ungrateful returns," he complained to Washington. His glib tongue convinced Congress that he was not at fault.
By now, Sterling had garnered a reputation of eccentrism marked by moments of violent outburst. Using the last of his 'pizza' money Sterling bought a small house in the quiet town of Great Falls, MT and is rumored to live there to this day. His neighbors often complain of strange smells and lights coming from his home, but so far the police have not had enough evidence to investigate further.
