About Me
Your incessant desire to obtain knowledge of all things "Jeffrey A" is relentless and a tad over-bearing. However, your persistence shall be rewarded with a lengthy list of fallacies and half-truths.First off, I invented what is commonly referred to as "wit". Anytime you hear a comment that makes you grin or a one-liner that smacks of intelligence and a hint of grit -- you can thank me. I also invented the highly underrated combination of Whiskey and Milk, which I affectionately refer to as "Miskey". Needless to say, this invention has not enjoyed the stellar longevity of "Wit", but, people are ignorant. Long live "Miskey"!I greatly enjoy walks on the beach, staring competitions, turtles, house carpentry, killing insects, blowing bubbles (not the chimp, although that is a timeless joke), tying my shoes, speeding through school zones, reminding the wealthy that they'll die someday, misleading children, confusing the elderly, climbing trees and having the fire department rescue me (they do good work!), having taco eating competitions, female asses, cheap booze, disregarding the Ten Commandments, roosters, southern accents, Yankee chutzpah, bow tie pasta, living beyond my means, the freedom to urinate where I please, and dandruff shampoo. I'm also hell-bent on making Yahtzee the number one pastime in the USA. Yahtzee! Don't get me started.I've tried many times to be a regular guy. To dim it down a shade and just be an "average Joe". But then I remember that my name is Jeff, not Joe. Then I get annoyed that I even had that thought to begin with. Then I say something witty and enjoy a tall glass of "Miskey" and roll 7 Yahtzees in a row. Then I usually mutter something like "Hot Damn" or "Sweet Jesus". It varies.Did I mention I invented Jazz music? Well, I didn't. That's probably why I didn't mention it. But, if I did, I would have included a far greater amount of piccolo solos in the genre. Gotta love the piccolo.In closing, I'd like to share a very helpful life hint with you. Learn to like Anchovies. They're a highly misunderstood treat. Sure, they're salty, hairy, smelly fish. Sure, they tend to overpower anything you put them on. Sure, pizza delivery guys think you're full of shit when you call and insist you want Anchovies on your pie. However, if you learn to love these oily brethren of the sea, you will never have to share your pizza again. Imagine this scenario.Random Jackass: "Hey, you got a pizza! Can I have a slice?"You: "Sure, man. But it has anchovies on it"Random Jackass: "Oh, Lord! You have to be the most vile creature in the universe! That's just so disgusting".You: "Silence, Random Jackass!"Think of how many slices of pizza you will save for yourself by simply learning to love anchovies. Of course, being a selfish twit doesn't hurt either.Hopefully this has been helpful to you. I'm full of useless tips like this, however I'm winded (poor circulation). I bid you ado.found this plain layout at HOT FreeLayouts.com
