FRIDAY AUG 4TH, I LOST MY 6 YEAR OLD SON! HE IS GONE FOREVER! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL MY FAULT EVEN THOUGH HE WAS SICK! I COULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR HIM. BUT I HAD TO BE HERE! I REALLY HAVE ALOT OF THINKING TO DO! RIGHT NOW I AM BURIED IN MY SELF PITTY OF HOW IF I COULD'VE MADE DIFFERENT CHOICES HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY. SOMEWERE ALONG THE WAY YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE LEARNED TO PUT MY KIDS FIRST OVER WHAT I WANT. I AM DEFINENTLY PROBABLY GOING TO HELL! I AM NOT SURE! I MEAN ONCE YOU HAVE A CHILD SHOULDN'T THEIR HAPPINESS BE WHAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS ALL ABOUT? I REALLY WISH I NEW THE TRUTH! I STILL HAVE TWO CHILDREN! TYLER AND MY WONDERFUL DAUGHTER SHAYLIN! I REALLY HAVE ALOT OF THINKING TO DO! ONCE AGAIN EVEN AT THE AGE OF 31 I AM JUST AS CONFUSED AS I WAS WHEN I WAS 15. MAYBE THIS IS HOW I AM SUPPOSE TO FEEL AFTER LOSING MY SON! I REALLY DON'T KNOW! SATURDAY AUG 12TH MY BAND KONTRAKU IS PLAYING THE OGDEN THEATER! I WILL HAVE MY 6 YEAR OLD BOY WITH ME IN SPIRIT AS I AM GOING TO PUT ON THE BEST SHOW I HAVE EVER PUT ON AS A VOCALIST THUS FAR IN MY CAREER! RIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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