Who wants to be sexy?
Get ripped at Anti-Gym while you eat carbs, drink booze, and smoke pot!
Anti-Gym is a revolutionary new fitness concept developed by Michael Karolchyk, the Howard Stern of fitness and most hated man in Denver. It’s a myth perpetuated by the money-grubbing health club industry that you have to deprive yourself of the good life in order to get fit, that you have to exist on egg whites, tofu, and guilt. Our clients are proof that you can live on the edge and enjoy all life’s finer things while still getting into your best shape ever.
The secret starts with high-intensity workouts. Our propriety workout system, MAKHIT training, is a pulse-pounding combination of resistance training and calisthenics/plyometrics designed to shed fat and build muscle tone FAST. Our Lifestyle Consultants are not soft personal trainers who let you call a time out because you pay their bills, they ride your ass for 40 minutes solid to give you the hardest and most effective workout of your life.
The second half of the equation is positive mental conditioning. Anti-Gym is the only facility in the country that teaches you to MENTALCIZE while you exercise, incorporating encouragement and accountability into your custom program. Here’s a short list of our secret tactics: weekly weigh-ins, monthly body fat measurement, report cards, urine tests, team competition, 6AM wake up calls, Twinkie barrages, and public shaming with stuffed farm animals. We will never let you forget what you are working for.
But it isn’t all gloom and doom. Anti-Gym also boasts the sexiest facilities and clientele in Denver, with live DJs spinning records, gorgeous cage dancers, and our elite co-ed Ravish Room. Plus, we want you to enjoy the new body you worked so hard for, which is why we host weekly happy hours and let you drink alcohol and even smoke a joint if you want. It’s all good as long as you come in and do the work. We are not your mother’s Curves class, and we definitely are not your father’s YMCA.
Join Anti-Gym if you want to have sex with the lights on, or join 24-Hour Fatness if you want to keep eating cupcakes alone in the dark.
“Nobody really has a thyroid problem, they have an attitude problem. Political correctness and a culture of victim hood has made us the fattest nation on the planet, but we look the other way so health clubs and the diet industry can make more money. Anti-Gym isn’t going to play the game anymore – we tell women if they’re chubby they won’t get a hubby, and men that they need smaller boobs than their dates. We believe parents should be arrested for child abuse if their children are fat.
If you cannot laugh at yourself, then you will never admit that you have a problem. If you cannot admit you have a problem, then you never will listen to coaching and get help for that behavior. If you are lazy and blame everyone else for your shortcomings, stay at home with your imaginary “gene problem†and your very real, very uncomfortable-looking jeans problem. But if you are ready to work hard to make yourself the best you can be, we would love to have you at Anti-Gym.â€
- Michel Karolchyk, CEO of Anti-Gym and not a member of Oprah’s Book Club
What are you waiting for? Contact us today for a complimentary, no obligation consultation.
" Waiting to contact us won't make your belly rolls go away any faster! Contact us today. "
Call us at:
303.249.9280
Email us at:
[email protected]
Visit our website at:
www.theantigym.com
click here for more info
Find out on
American Chubby , where
2006 Maxim Hometown Hottie Lisa Pelster
and Anti-Gym lifestyle consultant Brandon rate Denver women to
find out who should be having sex with the lights on and who
should be eating cupcakes alone in the dark.
Airing Monday
nights at 6:00 on KLZ 560 AM, American Chubby
puts aspiring Anti-Gym spokes models through the paces to determine
if they embody the “Sexy, Sophisticated, Smart, and Sassyâ€
qualities of the ideal Anti-Gym girl. The judges and special
celebrity guests offer insight, helpful hints, and a final
composite score, with the eventual winner receiving $20,000 cash
and the honor of representing Anti-Gym in advertising and events
for the next year.
Call
Michael at 303-249-9280 or email
[email protected]
to apply as a contestant.
click here to listen