I have 2 peg legs...one of which has a kickstand,and the other of which is inhabited by a woodpecker named Polly, who happens to have 2 hooks where his wings used to be. I also have a glass eye with a fish in it, and a patch over the other eye. My teeth are capped in snake skin, with built-in platinum spinners, so I hiss and whistle as I talk. I speak Yiddish with a thick Cambodian accent, and sometimes wonder how many licks would it take to get to the center of the Earth. Most of my days are spent crying about burning the roof of my mouth because my soup was too hot, or just complaining about how potatoes have it easy. On good days I bathe in orange marmalade, and think about everything I'm not currently thinking about. In my spare time I host intergalactic 70's roller-disco charity fund raising orgies (tube-tops & knee-high socks w/o gravity). On Friday nights I lace up my platypus slippers and my red wax pantaloons, and fly my ostrich-driven space jalopy to the local Wal Mart for a rousing night of sexual depravity and general chicanery over in the deli section. Just another day in the life of an intergalactic space pirate. I am also that guy who invented "Mintal Floss," the mint-flavored floss for your mind. Remember the slogan? "Get the stink out of your think..Mintal Floss!" If none of this makes any sense, just remember "Democracy is 2 wolves and a sheep deciding what to have for dinner." Oh, and "Life is an art, not a science....you make it up as you go along." So live it up bitches! End transmissionStevie Wonder Drum solo
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Et tu Brute? wants you to check out a photo on MySpace in the Halloween 2008 album
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