7125719

Hola bitcholas! I was born with webbed feet and over active sweat glands. The day of my birth was one of wonder and awe as there was a solar eclipse and three ravens resting on the pediatrics window sill.
At the age of five I was taken captive by a roving band of trolls known to traffic in stolen goods while using a moving Carnival as cover for illicit activities. I toiled under their watchful eye's for many years and finally escaped at the age of ten with the help of a trained goat; which I later ate raw while crossing the Appalachian mountains in search of a cure for stupidity and narrow-mindedness guarded by a tribe of yeti. This cure I would later sell on eBay at a premium to stupid people but that is for another time.
At the age of fifteen while passing the time and paying the bills as a belly dancer in Istanbul I was hired by an ancient priest to find the lost earrings of Loki the trickster(Ancient meaning he was an old fuck like the shithead who wrote this). These earrings were said to grant the wearer insight into the minds and misdeeds of others.
My search took many years and ranged from pole to pole. I traveled by dirigible, foot and earth drill seeing wonders both above and below the earth that drove many in my party to insanity and beyond. We ate the insane ones (Cooked of course). Sadly as the quest seemed to be at an end.... My party was attacked by shades from the twelfth dimensional gate and during the battle deep below the earth I tripped over some stupid fuck named Frodo; dropping the earrings into a lava pit. The only compensation was that I took this precious ring I wear now from him. When he ask what he was to tell his friends happened I let him know he could tell them it was thrown into the lava for all i fucking care.
Now i spend my days roving the landscapes of outer space seeking out scary looking dudes who are either in need of a shave or strange creatures that seem slightly androgynous and maybe even a little feminine.
My name is Alex and I am the known ruler of all things Alex like. If you want to know me say hello. If you want to own me suck my culo
I like Video Games, Newports, Waffle House, Hello Kitty, Horsebackriding, Piercings, Dreads, Tattoos, Platform boots, raves, parties, akon and going to The Church!
......Hardcore Shit
Cat and fawn!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco