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I am probably the hardest working person I know. My boyish good looks and strapping physical prowess lead me to believe that I am the spawn of a giant lumberjack to the likes of Paul Bunyan or the Brawney paper towel guy and the Virgin Mary. I think there was a biblical record of them having a threesome, but it was somehow lost in translation. This would make Jesus Christ, the most revered man in human history, my half brother. I was actually born with a flannal shirt on. Yesterday I uprooted a few redwoods for my morning workout, gave sight to a blind beggar, then ate lunch.Even though is sounds really nerdy, I enjoy watching the history channel by evening, and one may even consider me a moderate history buff. I like football, and porno and books about war. I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor. In my spare spare time, I prance around naked in my house while wearing my steel toed workboots and my hardhat.I take a liking to a nice cigar every once and a while and especially with a good beer, such as Yuengling. For those of you who don't know what Yuengling is, I feel sorry for you because it is definately the best overall beverage of alltime, and it should flow uninhibitedly from the faucets of every American household. There's a run-on sentence if I've ever seen one.I am as straight as an arrow and I am definately homophobic. Fags make me really really uncomfortable. But I will say that the only man I would ever consider turning gay for is Jim Tressel. GO BUCKS!!!Ohio State is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be the protege of Van Wilder, but eclipse him and stay in college for 47 years and go to the bar and pick up freshmen and orientation girls. hahaMike Tyson is fucking hysterical. He said in a recent interview that he'll fight a tiger if they pay him enough money. hahahhaha. Thats funny to me.Thats all for now... kudos for those of you who read the whole thing.