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The Rules of the Drunk Dial
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
3.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who
doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.
4. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
5. Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
6. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
7. You can also call this same ex and let them know, that you know, that they still love you. Then explain to them that I would still love me too!
8. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
9. It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering
machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.
10. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed... Never angry.
11. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that "you have a problem".
12. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
13. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
14. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your drunk dialing.
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Friends Vs. Pa Friends
FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk
PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught
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FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.
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FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "
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FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
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FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
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FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
WB PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
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FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
WB PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!!!" HAHAHAHA !!!!
------------------------------------------FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
WB PENNSYLVANIA FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".
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My Nephew Rocco... He's way too cute!!! I'm still laughing... Guess We have a princess, a Rock Star and a Boxer so far...
