Meadowhell

Meadowhell is proud to have been built as a shopping complex, but with designs also suitable to convert the building's use into a prison if the shoppers didn't show up. Well, since 1990 the shoppers have flowed through the doors of the centre, ensuring that Meadowhell continued to grow and thrive, taking custom away from nearby former mining town Rotherham, turning it into a ghost town of closed stores, unemployment, and smack-addicts, and even stealing custom from the Steel City of Sheffield.Meadowhell is built on private land, meaning nobody had to pass any laws like Westminster did in order to outlaw protests there. And so, you wont see any gatherings or campaigns against any of the wonderful multinational chain stores hated by those dirty, dreadlocked, demonstrators. You dont have to be wary of gatherings of protesters ruining your shopping experience or making you consider the Indonesian children who slaved away to make the clothes you just bought - we understand those things can be a bit of a downer for the shopper.You see? Meadowhell cares! And that's why we have CCTV cameras at every turn, and no clocks anywhere on the malls so you can lose your sense of time under our watchful eye. Be sure: the world is a dangerous place outside, full of poor people and jobless depressed drug addicts and violent weather patterns - but you're safe inside Meadowhell; we may not be prepared for floods, but we ARE prepared for terrorist attacks, and have the thousands of body bags in storage to prove it!Private land also meant that the homeless can't beg in Meadowhell either, which makes the complex far more attractive and appealing than Rotherham, or even Sheffield. You dont have to worry about ignoring The Big Issue or finding excuses for not giving change to beggars. Meadowhell don't let them onto the premises! We help protect your children from the downsides of capitalism you don't want them to know about.If you're depressed due to the News or a job loss, you can always count on retail therapy to give you a superficial temporary boost! Don't have any money? Get a credit card! Already have one? Get another! At Meadowhell, you can get deeper into debt to buy yourself a few moments of happiness. And isn't that all that matters? After all, the rich people who run the chain stores from ivory towers in American cities ensure that the money you spend doesnt stay in your local communities - and that makes Meadowhell more and more successful! It's a success story you've been a part of since 1990. So, as a reward, treat yourself - come shopping for overpriced designer goods in Meadowhell!..