oishie

For the past 19 years of my life I have been a dreamer, dreaming of everything to be so right and perfect, that all my decisions should be in manner and in order. I even spent most of my times thinking of what will happen to me tomorrow or in the future.... I know I’m an inborn perfectionist-- I even don’t know if it’s an asset or a liability on my part. I even believed in fairy tales-- that there was a Prince Charming that will find you, and you will live happily ever after, but life isn’t like that... life is something to work on, to struggle and to develop, life for others is not perfect... You are the only one who can decide about it-- because our mission here is to do good things that will make us perfect for ourselves. I’m a simple girl then, and a simple lady right now.... I do not know what people think about me-- it doesn’t matter anyways. I’m the only one who really knows myself.... criticisms and judgments have no place in my heart and in my head... All I care about is that I love myself, my life, my family and most of all God-- I know He will never leave me nor forsake me. I never had a relationship before, well till now of course, why?? Maybe I haven’t met the right guy for me, I even kept on hiding and running, when there's a signal that I might be falling in love.... That's the worst scenario that may come into my life-- I’m afraid of it-- my greatest and one and only fear after all. As a friend, well I know I’m nice and honest, if I like someone-- I really am fond of him/her, but on the contrary I’m not into investing feelings and secrets to a friend, I keep all of it to myself-- I’m a very private person and I know many people tends to notice it though I hear nothing from them. It will also takes a matter of time for me to impress to someone and to develop my own feelings, but there are times that I felt so EMPTY... though when I remember God is always there for me I feel contented and happy, because I know I’m luckier than anyone else—we have our own sense of life….