someone that doesn't call themselves "boi", or "vgl", or has captions on their photos like "you know you want me" or "cum and get me". Measuring your dick with a beer can or your keyboard is a little impressive but mostly unhygenic and gross. Showing your poo-stained butthole to the world makes me question your judgement. And does ANYONE find guys that lick their own biceps hot...or is it just hilarious? Ideal situation would be a beachfront home with a 220 pound fireman/wrestler with a dick the size of a small baby's arm and pecs you could feed off of if you were, say, stranded on a deserted island for a year. He likes sex at unexpected times, (dragging me into the janitor's closet at my office Christmas party). He loves What Not to Wear and West Wing, dinner parties where he's the life of the party but doesn't overpower my fabulousness, makes me breakfast in bed but not too often so that I expect it, can handle being by himself and encourages me to be with my friends but misses me when I'm not there. He's OK with holding hands in movies or when I least expect it or most need it. He's my partner no matter what life throws at us, gifts and challenges. But you can't have everything. Blah.