Jim Schortz profile picture

Jim Schortz

I am here for Friends

About Me

In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it's the other way around...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Someone to tell me that there is life on other planets, but they don't think we exist.

My Blog

Cryptozoology & Me

So I was on a conference call this afternoon and parked on the side of the road.  All of a sudden an ugly animal came into the gravel parking lot of this old convience store at the top of Corneli...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Sep 2007 21:13:00 GMT

Gym <3s

In no order, Gym White Chocolate M&Ms.The "Good Grief" episode of Arrested Development.Pluots.Strawberry-Kiwi H2Odwalla.Samsung Electronics.Battlestar Galactica.Subwoofers.Girl Talk.The smoked sal...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 16:21:00 GMT

Old College Paper

I wrote this on November 11, 1999 for Writing 110.  I got an A-.To the Owner of a CatI am glad that I was born with a nervous system because I am able to use my sense of touch to feel the soft, s...
Posted by on Sun, 20 May 2007 01:47:00 GMT

on the enterknets

Have you heard about this?  Did you read about this?  I saw this and felt ashamed.  My comments are below.  It's long, but I pwnd it.Don't Close Your Blinds The other day, my nine ...
Posted by on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 21:52:00 GMT

[]D [] []v[] []D

Hey Nermhauer,Shurbers from the year 14,099,471 and both fromphs to you as well!  It seems like we've just vershed the 14,100th millennium, but it is amazin9 thinkin9 of you akshels just vershin9...
Posted by on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:24:00 GMT

soy rico y suave como chocolate en su boca

Chandler says the greatest problem facing the United States today is a general feeling of apathy amongst the population.  I'm not really sure what apathy is and didn't feel like looking it up.&nb...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Nov 2006 17:54:00 GMT

Lazer Buddah's Revenge

50 Random Questions1. Where were you 3 hours ago?I was watching The Terminator On-Demand with Mini. He slept through most of it.2. Who are you in love with?Lazer Buddah (AKA Jesus)3. Have you ever ea...
Posted by on Sun, 01 Oct 2006 19:24:00 GMT

Let's be forever let forever be free

I was watching "Two Weeks Notice" starring Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant and found myself not being able to pay attention.  Not that it is a terrible story, it's a well done piece of art, and I'v...
Posted by on Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:00:00 GMT

From the Top of my Dome

So I just got back from a round trip to Medford, which (as the crow drives) is about an 8 or 9 hour journey (depending on how often it is required to slow down and rubberneck at car accidents involvin...
Posted by on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 22:02:00 GMT

Test your myte

Here is a test.  Which of the following conversations did not take place?1.James: Chandler, do you live for the days when hot chicks are dared by their friends to talk to you?Chandler: No, but if...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:57:00 GMT