THE BLOOD COUNTESS [NEW SONG UP!!]

First off, we want to give a huge thanks out to all who have been supportive of our music. Without you guys we would be less than the fecal matter that lines the internal sides of that porcelain bowl located in most public bathrooms. Its amazing to have fans and friends such as yourselves. It is safe to say that The Blood Countess would not be the same without your existence.
One Sunday morning, while all the people of the town were attending church, the little drummer boy, by the name of Richie Ingstrum, could not partake in this particular holy event due to a massive growth birthing itself out of his ass. He was too occupied with the toilet seat to go to the house of Jesus or God or whatever. Enduring an ass ripping experience, Mr. Ingstrum slowly pushed out a large, putrid, rotting chunk of nutty fecal matter infested with maggots. From his perspective, he thought this unique piece of odor may be worth an enormous amount of money. So he kept it in a cage on the Norglemesian island of Blatiraper located in the fifth dimension of the Snickers Galaxy, known as Yatafly. Over the decade, this putrid pile transformed into a keyboardist named Johnnie Perez. On the way back to Earth, Johnnie had to piss. He pissed for six billion eternities due to the shitload of beer he had consumed the night before. This urination session became known, in history, as the piss of excellence. After one thousand years had passed, this ginormous ocean of greatness dried, and a chemical reaction occured, spawning Brian McNulty. Brian had too much burritos the morning of, and laid out his vomit remnants all over the universe. He murphed so vehemently, he regurgetated his own soul, which was divided into two parts. Griffin kolinski was this other soul. They shredded the axes made of moon rock for 12 eternities and became the two greatest guitar players alive. After there was no more room for improvement, the two shredders decided to learn of there decent. After committing there time to many days of research, they realized they were derived of an abnormal shit taken 692,423,543,643,432 years before there time. Because of the modernized technology, they were able to travel back to the year of 2005 and make music. While on the way back to the planet earth, the two axe bearers met a bear in cyberspace. The bear had diahrrea and shit out a screaming fetus. The large diseased animal named the child Corey Desimone. Together, these musicians made metal. And thus was the creation of The Blood Countess.
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Merch: We have more shirts than we can handle.
So if you would like to buy a shirt, please feel free to message us on our page
and ask us about the clothing situation.
You would actually be doing us a disservice by not buying a shirt.
The two designs are shown below.
Thanks for your time.
Thank you,
(discontinuing the Anorexic Ape Shirt, but still available)
They come in YL, S, M, L, XL.
Shirts are $10 or $15 w/ shipping
Clarion Call E.P. Coming Out Soon!
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