People Envy Your Generosity
You're a giving soul, and you'd do almost anything for those you love. And they'd do anything for you!
People may envy how giving you are, but more than anything, they envy those you open your heart to.
What Do People Envy About You?CHUCK NORRIS...(took from a friends site..)
1. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. 2. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants. 2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 3. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. 4. Chuck Norris can speak braille. 5. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 8. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 9. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. 10. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 12. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 13. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance." 14. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. 16. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. 17. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 18. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 19. Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body. 21. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. 22. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 23. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. 25. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 28. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 31. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris 33. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister. 36. Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins. 40. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. 41. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. 42. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result. 45. Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism. 47. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. 52. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies". 55. Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims. 61. Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery." 62. Chuck Norris can drown a fish. 65. Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil. 66. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 70. Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris. 72. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. 75. Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends". 77. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. 78. When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please." 79. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris. 81. When Superman squeezes a lump of coal, he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines. 83. The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things. 84. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. 85. Chuck Norris can turn the bedroom light off and get a girl pregnant before the room gets dark. 87. When Chuck Norris' wallet feels the strain of rising gas prices Chuck Norris pisses in his own gas tank. He gets better mileage, and the car seems to like it also. 88. Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing. 89. One pound of Chuck Norris is heavier than ten pounds of everything else 90. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. 91. Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry. 92. Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you." 93. The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof. 94. Chuck Norris can put out water with fire. 98. The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Chuck Norris. 99. Chuck Norris defeated IBM's Deep Blue computer chess program using only one pawn and the thimble from Monopoly. He also collected $200 for passing "Go" in the process.