Joe the Blonde Polack profile picture

Joe the Blonde Polack

About Me

Electrician. Drummer for the bands LONG BEN and the MATT AND JOE SHOW, and Band Secretary as well (a coveted rank in the hierarchy of musicians). Juggler. Full-time dreamer, part-time nudist, occasional artist and poet. Vegetarian, though I still throw my wild ideals aside to indulge in my beloved Sushi dinners. Black sheep of both my immediate and extended families (bah-bah). Formerly a nicotine-fueled maniac, I am currently trying my hand at being a sedated genius (wish me luck). I also moonlight as a cat-lover. Master of walking on my hands (always useful). Disrespected by my colleagues (they're just jealous), addicted to the charms of the opposite sex (why not), and awkward in every social situation in existence (blame that on my incredible imagination), I am in all other regards a fine addition to the male gender of our species. I am who I am. Check out my group page, Rondout Snot-Nosed Punks, to learn more about my creative side.

My Interests

Music really tickles my fancy. Running is pleasurable. Books are good. Writing silly poetry (a la Shel Silverstein). Dancing around like a jerk. Nudity. Electricity. The ocean. Sex. Cartoons or chess, depending on which end of the intellectual scale I'm functioning on at the time. Forcing bread down the throats of the local duck population. Drawing. Painting (mostly wierd erotic scenes in acrylics... it's kind of like therapy). I dig motorcycles, though following my third accident I have finally given them up in favor of my Subaru station wagon. And to repeat myself, I love music: I'm a decent drummer, I play a mean alto recorder and harmonica, and I'm a kick-ass whistler. Oh, and let us not forget tattoos, a hobby that began with me drawing on my hands with magic markers that I stole from my grade school teachers.

I'd like to meet:

People that are as nice as they are crazy, and that utilize their insane genius to improve and enrich the lives of all they encounter. Or anybody that can tolerate me tapping on every piece of furniture in reach in outbursts of percussive inspiration.

Music:

Personally I find merit in every genre of music. My all-time favorites, however, are Morphine, the Clash, Janis Joplin, Jane's Addiction, Bob Marley, Skynyrd, AC/DC, Squeeze, Karma to Burn, Danzig, Operation Ivy, Motley Crue, CCR, Dean Martin, Pat Benatar, Billy Idol, Adam and the Ants, Blind Blake, Pitchfork Militia, T-Rex, Ben Folds Five, Paul Simon, Jack Johnson, David Bowie, Talking Heads, Iggy and the Stooges, Shellac, Tom Waits, the Ditty-Bops, the Misfits, Danzig, the Reverend Horton Heat, Mastadon, the Minutemen, SEPULTURA, Les Nubiennes, Squidbones, Miles Davis, Joan Osbourne, Old Metallica, Neil Diamond, Megadeth, World music in general, Elvis Costello, Edith Piaf, Secret Chiefs 3, O'Death, High on Fire, Iron Maiden, Billy Joel, the Sword, Led Zepplin, Jimi Hendrix, Billie Holiday, Gogol Bordello, Iron & Wine, Cypress Hill and Motorhead. I like the Beatles too, which is ironic since I onced hated them with a passion. I was in a band called Long Ben... contact me if you would like to hear any of our old material. We had a few gems that we would play locally and abroad.

Movies:

Casablanca. The Princess Bride. Space Balls. The Dark Crystal. Time Bandits. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Labyrinth. The Great Muppet Caper. Willow. Strange Brew. Catch-22. Ronin. Kelly's Heroes. The Golden Compass. Big Trouble in Little China. Donny Darko, which might as well be a documentary about my teenage years. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is in my opinion pure genius. Treasure Planet.

Television:

No TV. Just Muppets. Lots and lots of Muppets.

Books:

100 Years of Solitude. Moby Dick. Wicked. The Little Prince. The Sirens of Titan. The Things they carried (having finished this one, I finally understand my father). Leaf Storm and other Stories. Love in the time of Cholera. These are great books. However, seeing as they're the only books I have ever finished, I can't truly claim to be a reliable source for suggestions in this department.

Heroes:

My old cat, Bringer of Death. He was muscular, handsome, charismatic, a die-hard hedonist, and absolutely lethal to boot. I miss you, my little man. I would also like to thank everyone that has successfully put up with my bullshit for more then a day... and my old bandmates Matty and Jesse, for giving me direction in life in the form of music (a big Billy Idol fist pump to both of you).

My Blog

New Guidelines for Joseph Sayut

Everybody has waded through a ton of bullshit to become who we are today, and I am no exception to that rule. Therefore, I have strengthened my resolve in several key aspects of life such as self-resp...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:17:00 PST

Ode to my Friends

I have finally come to the realization that I am one wierd dude. I'm completely serious; I am one strange fucking individual. Despite this, I am blessed with some really wonderful friends that have su...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 06:01:00 PST

A Song for Ghosts

Everytime I see my own reflection in the windows of a car I become witness to a most peculiar phenomenon It ain't me I see but rather my ghost it's he He whose gaze goes through you and me and goes o...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 05:34:00 PST

The Roadkill Poem

In the road There was a toad With green bumps on his head But me and my tire We did conspire And soon that toad was dead The next year There was a deer Chewing on a juicy weed But she darted out And w...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Sun, 28 May 2006 07:14:00 PST

The Why we Don't Eat Cats Poem

My angry stomach and it's angry growls "Chinese was not enough! Dessert!" it howls So my dilemna before me it unfolds Nothing but dirty dishes and empty bowls No desert, there's not even a little cake...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Tue, 23 May 2006 03:19:00 PST

Couch Whore Anthem

Upon the shaggy sofa I lay A dog as my blanket, and for this I pay A case of beer, and now this poem To repay their help when I had no home. A stranger's sofa is no paradise But with a few beers any s...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Sat, 06 May 2006 07:12:00 PST

Scrapper the Cat

Here's the tale of a fighting feline A scrapper by nature, he'd never decline The chance to sharpen his scimitar claws On stranger's jaws in the smoky bars He would take their beers, and amidst their ...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Sun, 23 Apr 2006 03:00:00 PST

The Angry Puppet Song

Shake and I dance, bounce and I walk Squeeze your hand and my mouth will talk Pinch your nose and give me a voice I'm a fucking puppet I've got no choice I'll say what you want, I'll do what I'm told ...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Sat, 15 Apr 2006 06:25:00 PST

Ducks, I salute you.

Down on the Strand You'll find a man Walking with loaves of bread, Twelve perfect slices Will taste the nicest When doused in water and fed, To a flock of ducks With their feet in the muck Of the Rond...
Posted by Joe the Blonde Polack on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 03:28:00 PST