Dr Jones profile picture

Dr Jones

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

The details of my life a quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving belongere owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepcy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius posess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon. Luge lessons. In the spring we would make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I recieved my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a zerostry named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicals. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. Its breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

My Interests

I like to bite dogs. I tried dirt bike riding. Then I put it down. I am a big fan of snowboarding, skydiving, swimming, camping, hiking, writing stories, sculpting, acting (improv), I do a mean "Busta Move" on Karaoke

I'd like to meet:

bodybuilding dwarfs. I like people who are into art in all of its wonderful forms. Eccentric painters who are allergic to combs. Shy actors who play angry mobsters. Writers who can bring you into their story like you are being flushed down the toilet (in a good way). Musicians who can wash their music over you. Sexy sculptors. Going after your goal no matter what is insanely important. You can't get what you want by procrastinating.

Music:

Jane's Addiction, The Strokes, Jet, Nancy Sinatra, The Pixies, Outkast, Weezer, Blur, James Brown, Tenacious D, Bob Marley, Jeff Buckley

Movies:

ONLY IN INDIA



Usual Suspects, The Abyss, The Matrix, The Godfather I & II, Shrek, The Iron Giant, Office Space, Swingers, The Hustler, Run Lola Run

Television:

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge has got to be the funniest show

Books:

Green eggs and ham, Harold and the Purple Crayon

Heroes:

Ren of Ren and Stimpy fame

My Blog

How smart I am

If I had a million dollars for every time I was told how insanely smart I was, I'd be a millionaire. 
Posted by Dr Jones on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 07:52:00 PST

The New Kingdom

Comparing the US to Europe and other countries, you notice some obvious differences. One of the most obvious is the repression of swear words and nudity in the media. I propose, as a solution, to ...
Posted by Dr Jones on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Favorite sayings

Buck Futter! There is something on your face Well, that's good advice, but I'm not taking it Try a little tenderness I keep having to tell the voices in my head to speak up I can't remember if I ...
Posted by Dr Jones on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST