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"Oh please, I'm a hot-looking, smooth-talking
frisky ass son of a bitch." —Fez
The funny thing about pain is that it led me to appreciate everything else. I saw the beauty in the simplicity of life, like hearing your best friends laugh, profound conversations, long walks on the beach, and breathtaking sunsets. Most often, the things we take for granted are the ones that can help set us back in place, renew our souls, and bring us hope for even more beautiful experiences.
It’s as though I’ve been drawn into a world that I no longer recognize as the familiar place I’ve grown up in. Almost as if I’m on a wild adventure everyday, experiencing new things, people, creatures that I never knew existed—even though I still want to retreat indoors in November, November, and hide from the overwhelming chess board of life. I began this adventure chasing after a rabbit in the form of beauty and recognition, then realized that I was only overwhelming myself with such urgency. The world became a fog of crystal clear mirrors and pawns on my way to the top, but seventy hours and two seconds was a black crow and a brook to begin a new chapter. Everything had gone backwards; it was as if instead of aging three years, I’d gone back five. I could have driven myself mad with the ideas and what-if's I’d run through my head. I immediately opened the front door and stepped out to realize that the snow wasn’t falling outside; it was May, springtime, sunny and bright. As I stepped out onto the path everything became clear; this road would bring me straight to happiness, whatever that could be. So I set out on a new adventure, and I removed my snow jacket for the first time in ages. However, though this new world was bigger and more beautiful than the wonderland I’d just escaped, I still have had my share of cheshire friends and tulgey situations. I’ve had months and moments of words that were meant to bite me, those who meant to claw me, people whose intentions were meant to catch me, and somehow, I’ve survived all of the issues that have surfaced. Although my intentions were almost always good, I’ll say in my defense that I looked for butterflies that slept among wheat and I went my way and when I found a mountain, I set it on fire. The accidents were never part of my plan, but they were part of falling. Now, I will try my best to not stray off my path and avoid the rabbit holes that lead me to become what I am not. So we’ve now established that this entire paragraph has been nonsense, but it actually sums up who and what I am, you just have to take a moment to understand what all of it really means. I apologize for the paradoxes and what seems to contradict itself, but I assure you, this is all very simple, despite its absence of simplicity.