About Me
Some call me BabuYagu The Green Man Witch, some say i am the Devil himself, others say i am a man pretending to be the Devil with green makeup and special lighting, That is Nonsense, i am as real as the Forest itself!..................................................... ...................................................Owner of The Zoo For Animal Offneders, home to creatures such as the Nazi turtle, a Freshwater Facist for all the family, over on the left... the Klu Klux Goose, but my finest exhibit is Trevor Robinson, The Shire Horse with over 37 parking tickets, all unpaid mind, evil hooves...................................................... ................................................Come and see me in The Forest of Death..maybe you can find Brian Ferry there too......................................................... .................................................I come from a long line of Hitch Hikers. All with bleedin massive thumbs. You see, the thumb is a tremendous boom to the Hitch Hiker. Helps with work, you know what I mean? Only problem was, when I was a child, my thumb was tiny, not just tiny like a single sugar puff, Disgusting! Even me ol' mother would reel back in horror like an anaconda "Oh! What is it! Get it out of here! It's tiny! It's horrible, it's revolting! Take your tiny thumb and get out of here and never darken my door again!" she'd say. I had to leave the family unit, in search of a miracle. I wandered the streets looking for the answer and people told me of a magic shaman, part man, part hornet. So I went looking for him, i went everywhere,i combed the universe, in search of the stripey insect shaman. Turns out he was in a local Primary school, in the bin reeling about with the apple cores, like they do. And I stood there, with my thumb out, and he stung it, and he stung it! He grabbed onto it. It was like he was making love with it with his sting, in and out, in and out! More and more! oooh the puss, the pain, the black voodoo, the wet jigsaw puzzle. I didn't know what was happening. Ohhh for days I was in a trace, but when I came to, there it was, like a fleshy maraca! A thumb, of gigantic proportions! "A miracle!" I said "A miracle! You're a true wizard, How can i ever repay ya!?". And he said to me "500 euros" "500 euros!? You won't see a penny one from me you slag!". And as I raised my thumb up, to smash his tiny skull in. I could see it in his little insect face. I could see him thinking "Oh I created that monster! I created that thumb, and now it's killing me! My own beastly creation! Killing me dead. The sweet irony.". I think he was saying that, but that was a long time ago and in hindsight he could've been just shittin himself..................................................... ........................................i'm like connect 4 in dagger terms
