i was born in in the slums of brazil to janetto and pauli, my mother was a strugling model and my father was in a jazz band, things were hard for my family, money was a constant issue, well, i guess it would be wen you got 12 kids to feed,when i was 5 or 6 my mamma got offered a huge modelin contract for victoria secret which took us to new york and solved all our money problems, things were great!! life was sweet, i was at that awkward age of 7 wen girlfriends come along and the whole clubbing culture was in flow, i got caught up in all that for a while but as i was such an adventure seeking young individual, my attention drew to other things and thats wen my passion for horses entered my life, i got very serious about it and started to breed many top stallions such as red rum and other grand national winners, this was not only a great hobby but a very lucrative business!!!
with the 8million or so i earned from this i decided to invest and by the age of 9 i decided to invest in the oil and gas business, i met a young chap i like to call roman, a top guy who had some links with the mafia, i hooked him up with some of my peeps in russia and we started our own energy business, things went bad between the two of us and i had to buy him out, we dont see one another anymore and the last i heard he was owner of this lower league football club in england, poor guy if only he'd stuck with me he could have been one of the richest men on the planet! at the age of 14 life was starting to feel stale, there i was, 9 maids, 6 butlers,8 kids but not very much happiness,i had it all but felt i needed to return to my roots, so i did just that, i packed my louis vitton with my bear essentials and headed back to my homeland, as i was backpacking through the amazon i found myself in the drug ridden country of colombia, i hated the place, all the women had stupid afros and seemed to be called doris, but it was this country that was soon to steel my heart, one morning as i was crusing down the river in my yacht and i came across true beauty, there she was, bathing under a waterfall and drinking from a coconut, it was her, the one i was to be with. i understood at the time that if a man wants to be with a women he must show his commitment and devotion to her before they are to date, the tradition of colombia meant that i had to wrestle with an aligator in order to win my bride, been a 6ft2 athletic warrior i wasnt phased by this at all and accepted the challenge, after 25 seconds she was mine.i later married heatherino and we moved to the united kingdom to a place called braford on the outskirts of london,my wife found it hard to settle in, not been able to speak the language and strugling with spelling etc, now 4 years on she still struggles with thee things but shes learning to addapt, i gave all my money away to one of my friends maximus, hes now a legendary producer and works alongside spielberg and lucas,i felt that it was only right to start my life again from the beggining and now heatherino and i make clothes out a rags in order to survive. lifes great tho, i remember the last words my father said to me before he died of crabs, it was 'son, remember,all i have in this world is my balls and my word and i dont break em for anyone', i will stay true to that that for the rest of my days.
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