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About Me

I find pleasure in the little things in life: condom wrappers, lollipop sticks, gansta rap, and Hanes shirts.

"Pie can’t compete with cake, though. You put candles on a cake, it’s a birthday cake. You put candles on a pie, someone’s drunk in the kitchen." -J. Gaffigan

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The reanimated corps of George Carlin.

My Blog

College Night at the Grove

Last night was simple, not too dressy and absolutely blog worthy. There was  no exchange of anything complicated nor any need for it. It was simply dancing and drinking., the way college oug...
Posted by on Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:38:00 GMT

Death By Chocolate.....

Death by chocolate is a mythThis I know because I livedI've been around for broken hearts and howLay your head in my hands little girlThis is only right nowDeath by crying doesn't exist Though the hea...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:23:00 GMT

Dear Chairman of the Board.....your network sucks.

There are some bad movies that you will inevitably either walk out on or space out through.  Life however is the proverbial bad movie that you cannot walk out of, sleep through, or even simply tu...
Posted by on Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:15:00 GMT

...

You have failed me. YOU HAVE FAILED ME. You have failed me. You have failed me. Sadly, so have I.
Posted by on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Heres my real deal, bitch.

What the fuck is up with people these days? Like I am standing in the elevator right&.and I am so self conscious. WHY!? Especially when it's really early, I feel like they can all hear my breathing pa...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 06:44:00 GMT

The things that make you wonder...

When I arrived at school this morning I though it would be a day as uneventful as any other day in my life...but no folks...to follow last nights perfect menagerie of insanity, this morning had t...
Posted by on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 14:07:00 GMT

The Pony Remark

The Pony Remark Written by: Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld Directed by: Tom Cherones Broadcasted: January 30, 1991 for the first time...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:01:00 GMT

Fuck dem hoes...

nuff said.
Posted by on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 06:55:00 GMT

And so the story goes on &.

The cynic at the wedding cries, the sensitive type at the funeral bursts into fits of giggles, and the girl in the purple sweater with the black stripe becomes the womaish girl in the gold c...
Posted by on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:10:00 GMT

Je suis...

How odd that you could feel so lonely and be so surrounded by people. I could stand in a crowded mall with a hundred different bodies surrounding me, walking all around me, talking about all these dif...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:39:00 GMT