Hello, my name is Ben I am lactose intolerant. You may ask me, "Ben, does that mean you get gas when you drink milk?" "No" I shall reply, "It means I die a ghastly death of suffocation and paralysis." Then, if you're really dumb or are not thinking clearly at the moment you may procede to inquire "Ben, does that mean if you take a bath in milk will you die?" I will reply "You are a moron. Honestly, who bathes in milk? I should slap you silly for asking such an obsurd question." If you are reading this and have bathed in milk, let me know because if there is somebody who has done this I would certainly like to meet you. A good question would be "Ben, what happens if you take a girl out to ice cream and you kiss her afterwards?" Now you will receive a reply that differs depending on your gender, age, and looks. It will either be a simple "I don't know," or it will sound something like "Would you like to find out...tonight...at 10:27 in the pm?"
My Interests
I'd like to meet:
Norah Jones's boyfriend so I could beat him up and steal her away.
