Billâ„¢

What all the fuss is about! The Fall - "Blindness" live.
PLEASE check this out!!! My boss doing his best Travis Bickle imitation. Priceless.
Hi, my name is Bill. How are you? I am fine.
I am on Myspace to meet new people and make new friends. Isn't that nice?
There's a good chance I would like to be your friend, but I probably scare you a great deal, for no real reason. What a shame.
But the way I look at it, if we can't be friends, it's not my fault.
So if you are one of the many people on Myspace that just wants to be a jerk, go fuck yourself. Everyone else, good to know you!
YOUR elected representive at work helping you, your family, your community and your state. Bravo.
"I reckon I'll have me some more of them french fried pertaters."
Mark E. Smith Lyrics 'O the Day:
"Come follow me
Out of the obscurity
Pilgrims in songs
Swamp the empty aerodrome
Kalashnikovs but no houses
Women at the double, march
No food for the spouses
They wait for the US drop
Russians sit back and laugh
While war casts her gory locks
Over the deserted docks
She casts her gory locks
Over the deserted docks "
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and I love the internet, I think it's mankind's greatest achievement. Al Gore was really onto something when he created the WWW. I love being able to talk to someone about the "Gashlycrumb Tinies" by Edward Gorey or "Archie and Mehitabel" by Don Equis and then walk over to my computer and print out the shit IMMEDIATELY. Anyone who doubts the internet is an idiot. I love eBay, I've been doing it for over 10 years now. Finally every antique in every attic across the world has come out into the light of day. Go eBay!
I could be a great evil genius if I weren't surrounded by INCOMPETENT FOOLS!
Check this awesome 'hawk picture! With a poster of "The Gashlycrumb Tinies" by Edward Gorey on my bedroom door. I WAS SO FUCKING COOL I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN TALKED TO YOU BACK THEN YOU LAMEASS! I kid, I kid.
Anyway, I'm hugely eccentric, I fight authority just like Bo and Luke Duke, I have a lifelong, deep and true love of Art Deco, I build robots (only one is anatomically correct, sorry guys), I am a terrible music snob, the 80s music you like sucks, in my formative years I was very into punk (hence the mohawk pictures), but now I'm a good citizen and I only steal or destroy or start fires when I'm VERY drunk. I've been fortunate to have a 'government" job that actually allows me to help people, that's cool. I've never voted for anyone other than Democrats ever in my life, that's probably not so cool. I don't like Albany much; in general I find most Albany folk to be unfriendly and very bad at driving cars. Since I've met some cool people on Myspace I'm feeling a little better about Albany though. It only took 11 years and the invention of the internet to make that happen. I've seen Daniel Patrick Moynihan in a bathing suit, how many of you can say that?
I've seen a dog repeatedly eat chicken bones AND LIVE, I swim while eating to avoid the whole half-hour cramping issue, I hate my brother and sister, I like the strange repetition in music that only the English can pull off, I want to get some tattoos, every day I count my blessing, people think I'm a loose cannon, but really I'm just an outlaw (cue the music from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly), I'm very creative and I get squirrelly if I'm not building something. I work mostly in multi-media, multi-function, multi-weird sculpture; my apartment could use a woman's touch
On his deathbed my father made me swear to do three things in life and I have always carried out his wishes:
1. Always be sincere even if you don't really mean it.
2. Never pass up the chance to pee.
3. Never settle for any second-class poontang. (sorry, my dad was oldschool)
I'm a complicated guy, but I have the capacity to be a great friend. I should avoid the dragon and will have long and abundant health. I'm curious and love to learn about people and the crazy shit they do. I can tell a story about ANYTHING, my repertoire is absolutely boundless. I think back in the Middle Ages I would have been a traveling menstrual, telling tales to the great amusement of young and old. I am an ordained minister, but I don't really adhere to any of the stuff about celibacy or clean living or loving your neighbor or turning the other cheek or really any of the religious aspects of being a minister. But 'tis true, I am a man of the cloth. I don't like blondes, NASCAR, Staten Island or Steven Spielberg. I find baseball fans to be warm and intelligent but hopelessly misguided. I've survived a number of close brushes with death including a pulmonary embolism, multiple car crashes, a stabbing, trapped in a burning garage, and working in the sickest, most asbestos-ass building in the world- the New York State Capitol Building. Oh my how scary. But I've also rescued several others from hideous car crashes because my mother lives on a true dead man's curve and drunks crash in front of her house like every week to ten days. She actually has a roadside memorial in front of her house, it's great that every day she has to look out her front window and see a teddy bear nailed to a tree. PLUS I'M JUST A FUCKING HERO ANYWAY SO DEAL WITH IT. Sorry, I snapped. I always like to date women who are smarter than me, but somehow I think that may be a mistake. Maybe if someone could introduce me to some lower I.Q. type women that would be cool. I don't like to shave, I don't like to wear coats, I never button my top button and I always roll up my sleeves so I can look like Al Gore after his retard campaign people told him he needed to look more hands on. (Two Al Gore references in one profile. Sketchy). I'm a funny guy but my sense of humor is not for everyone. I'm the most sarcastic person EVER, but I'm terribly brave too. In fact, I'm the bravest man I've ever known. I kind of enjoy the darker side of life; maybe I have a tiny bit of Goth in me. For shame! I could write more, but lets face it; I had you at sluts.